All the time in the World

I cant figure out why but I feel as though I'll live a short life. My daughter asked me what my biggest question was about life. I thought it through and decided it's when am I going to die? I feel like accomplishments speak volumes and I've accomplished all of mine. I don't do daring things, I'm not much of a drinker. I drive fast but not with the kids in the car which is most of the time. I don't travel much or very far, I don't fly and I normally don't try things that might make me die. So I think to myself sometimes why am I so ready to die? Why am I convinced that I'll live a short time? I suppose it's a matter of crossing sides. I'm put off with where life has met up with life and how the world turned dark from bright. I'm disillusioned by living in this World because I know the beauty it holds but looking around me tells a different story than I've been told. One of depression and worry. Living is not the anticipation of enjoyment but enjoying the moment. Happiness is not day to day it is a way of life. The willing will always be willing and the sacrifices are documented by grace. Givers will always be giving, until the day they have none to give away. Blessings arrive by the boatloads when you pray and worry washes away with each passing day. An idle mind is a wretched possession and should be managed with caution. Leaving anything sitting idle too long will cause it to disintegrate and become dilapidated. I don't want to rush through this life and in the end be thinking of all of the time I wasted chasing things that don't mean anything to me. Life is short enough without the added pressure to become what you want without knowing when your time is up. I'd never start anything if I knew beforehand I didn't have enough time to complete it. I'd never eat a half cooked chicken. I'd never make my bed with wet linens. So why start something you can't finish? I never know when the bells going to ring, the fat lady will sing, when the alarm will sound or when the sand will run out. I pray my goals will be met by my accomplishments and when my final sun does finally set my life will be content with my death.

Stop Barking

I'm walking through the neighborhood tired of hearing the barking. I start jogging. Moving forward but keep looking back because attacks happen in a flash then its in the past. The trauma is haunting and moving forward is now daunting. Hunger strikes in their bellies and has their brains telling them to attack the innocent and no one has anything to say about it. Money is in his pocket while my homie is in a locket sitting on my chest plate. Tired of the hate, the fake, the displaced. Find your place, find your souls, find your faith. Too many folks got jokes with no will to live but quick to feel the click of the cold steel beneath their grip. Everybody is holding on to shit. Why not just let go if it? Why do you clench your fist so tightly to it? Let go. Let the blood flow from your knuckles and take a step back. Relax. The problems we have aren't that bad. They are but if you fret you'll regret wasting your time and busying your mind when it could have been so simple to turn that steel from cold to warm. Is it right? Animals have the right to fight for their pride and protect their hide. Do I? Running from the problems only evolves them into rapidly approaching disasters. Devastation stuns a Nation and the World just keeps on spinning, living, going on like nothing is wrong and people aren't crying and innocent bystanders aren't dying while the fattest pockets are lying, deciding, multiplying and stay in hiding. I stand alone but I'm crowded, drowning, losing an uphill battle, drifting without a paddle, breathing haphazardly trying to step back into the beat. It feels just like defeat because I'm still running from the barking and it wont silence because it's a haunting. Too stunned to turn around to learn the culprit of the sound but too tired to keep running so slowing down seems like the only way how to come to any type of solution but the adrenaline is pumping at an astounding rate and switching up the pace could throw me off balance. This life is such a challenge. My feet stay wrapped in bandages from all the cracks and callouses. That barking will never stop, the pace will slow up but stopping is not an option. The enemy is always lurking, searching for a way to knock you down to watch you fall and see the struggle of picking back up and starting where you left off. Trust is a gift not given by many, not accepted by any not understood from the very beginning. Trust is a new way of sinning because it is about deceiving, is being abused by too many and is used for winning. At the cost of whose pretty penny are they being disposed of? What happened to the love? Where is the trust? Pick up the guns, put away the hate. Load your amo into your gauge and point your shame away from us, put your faith behind that gun. Shoot your attacker not the ones you're protecting, know the power behind the blessing and stop continually second guessing your God given instincts they tug at your heart strings for peace of mind inside. Can you hear that? It's finally quiet. The barking subsided for now. I can slow back down and enjoy my walk along the sidewalk and listen peacefully to my mind talk until the instance the silence is shattered again. Til then. Listen.