You want some Drama?

Crazier things have happened. You want to know what I'm about? You think you could do what I do? Walk an inch in my shoes? First of all, you really don't care what I'm all about. We can be real. You're just curious to know what is it about you that I feel. You surely couldn't play my role or do what I do and that's ok because my life has nothing to do with you. We share the same planet, we share the same moon but we could never share the same shoes. So yes if the shoe fits, wear it but please walk with your own convictions. I am obligated to do nothing more but to watch and listen. We all play our different positions and have our own personal admissions. We all go through hard times and get our feelings hurt sometimes. On top of that, why would anyone ever try to create more problems? You want some Drama? Well. Hmm. Ok. Let's delve into some shit I have to say. First off if you don't personally know my name, never met me in real life, then I really have nothing to say to you or about your life so you should try keeping your nose out of mine. Though if the temptation should be too strong then go ahead and keep your nose on. I can admit that I still look but the only thing I can say about any of yous is... Nothing! You're all still doing the same exact thing. Nothing. Hahaha. Damn, now if that doesn't make you feel lame then maybe this will. I know more about you than I could ever care to. I know things I wish I didn't. I've been told so much bullshit I could swim in it. I don't know why or how I find so many things out but it seems to follow and track me down. The things you know about me no one even cares about so go ahead and shout em out from your roof. You'll never be able to sift through all of those dirty lies to uncover the real truth. My life is nowhere near perfect but I'm ok with that because I know I try hard to be better every day. Can you say the same for yourself? Do you know who really has your back? If the shit hit the fan do you know where you stand? When drama hits you in your face will you be quick enough to move out of the way? In my own experience I can tell you it's like running a race. So keep up pace because I move pretty fast. The shit you hear tomorrow is the same shit I left in the past. You want some Drama? Find another show because this script turned from hot to cold. I changed the channel from a tear filled chick flick to a stand up comedy show. If Drama is what you crave, I will have to let you starve. If a frown is what you wear then make sure you wear it proud. There is NO more Drama here so get the hell out! 

"Hurt people, hurt people." My wounds have been healed. If tears are what you're looking for, you won't find them here. 

:) XOXOXO

It's nothing personal

I notice that when my entries are directed to one person they are very impactful. I wonder how it is so easy to spew onto a screen but would my thoughts jump out so organically in real time? I'm no different than any one else trying to vent. I get upset sometimes. I have my days. I have a lot to say. More to some than others. I'm not apologizing for any of it. I feel and I write. It's a simple process. If you piss me off, I'll most likely write about it. If I'm upset or in a shitty mood usually I'll write to make myself feel better. If I fall in love or have a crush I'll probably write about it. I write purely for the therapeutic properties I get from it. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good. I don't have to ask for permission. It's not mandatory. I'm not being forced to make time to dedicate to my passion. I don't have to meet a deadline. I'm not being graded. I'm not getting paid. I don't get rewarded. If the concept that I do this as a hobby can't be grasped I will not try and explain it. This is me. This is who I am and will always be. I'll never stop writing. I'll never stop professing my love for creativity. I'll never stop telling the World how much writing means to me. It's nothing personal. Call it what you will. It's just me and my head. If reading this jumbled nonsense makes you feel close to me, then you're probably a psycho freak!! I'm kidding. Hehe. I'm flattered to have formed my tiny fan base. I see y'all and want to take this time to show my appreciation for your interest in my blogs. Shout out to you lovely souls whoever you are reading my craziness. I love you guys!!! XOXO's to my fans in Germany, Russia UK, India, Netherlands, China, France, Ireland and Japan. I officially hit 2000 views tonight. A million thanks could not express how gracious I am to you all. Hi Haters!! Thank you guys too.;]

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With just One Line

What could you say with just one line if you were ever put on the spot? What would you say in just one line if you were ever abruptly caught? What should you say in just one line to ensure a lesson be taught? What if just one line was all you got? Would you take your time to make sure just one line would work? What if you had just one line to say to the one person who were walking away? With just one line you could have changed their mind, what would you have said? What lines are now floating around your head? Tell me just one line that I will remember for all time and maybe I'll give you mine. 

Importance (7/3/08)

These things of sheer importance are important to me because they make this life I'm living easier than IT does. Dreaming delicately in my sleep and leading to the dawn's early peek and taking in a breath of air waking up with silky hair. God gives me all my days and those days are full of things, these things of sheer importance that I think are the things that make me want to thank. Small sounds and whiny whispers, hugs and kisses and tiny ticklers. Colors, touch, tastes and smells, cherries, waffles and chocolate milk. Bright lights and starry eyes, learn their faces and what makes them cry. They grow up fast so enjoy the ride, get to know them from their out to inside. Meet your parents because someday they'll be gone, they are not the same as when you were young. Wrongs and Rights and views and sights, summer and sun and rain and fun. Fresh cut grass beneath my feet, standing in the Texas heat. 90 degrees under shady trees, melting ice cream dripping rivers down my knees. All the music that I know from my past and to the show, screaming from beyond the crowds, sitting at home on my couch. All of these things are of importance You'll see, these things are of sheer importance for me. Breathing Mother, Resting Father ignore the sadness why even bother, life and death are a part of me now and why and where and when and how. Power, strength, conscience, news, truth, reality, singing and Shoes. Shoes that fit and clothes that don't, incentive to lose and the FAT chance I wont. Pre-School, teething and potty training too, these things of sheer importance are also things I must do. Change my license, I'm already twenty-two, find a house and live in it too. Love my friends, refuse to have enemies, write a poem and read a different entry. Go to work, eat a meal, cash my check and find a steal. Swimming, swinging, Climbing trees, learning numbers and ABC's. Love my children, my love and life, breathe in deep maybe become a wife. Growing, learning, always listening and helping others, owing and simplicity, returning, earning, respecting and caring. All of these things I'll do, done or will, these are those things of sheer importance still. Will not say good bye, only see you the next time. Will walk from the shady spot and not waste my gas. Save my money but still look for deals and learn how to cook my most favorite meals. Beauty and brains, don't give up, finish school. Knowledge is power and when applied is a tool, intelligence, elegance, exuberant and Cool. Laughing and crying, playing and flying. Travel and search, road trips and church. Lay off the Booze, get drunk and go party, invest in a motorcycle and try not to become just a body. Just kidding, that thought is scary, lip gloss and suntans and smelling like berries. Thinking, wondering and wandering too, these things that are of sheer importance for me, will never be through.

July 30th 2008

What is Vytorin? 

Looking at the clock does not make the time pass any quicker. Counting down the days does not make them any shorter. Plans will change, the Weatherman lies, and Calendar days fly by. Life happens and destiny is inevitable and unstoppable. It is impossible to create your own future but very likely that you will be able to steer through the torrent. Work is never done and any type of pain is a part of being Human. Tears always flow and you'll never be truly as great as you think you can be. Perfection is a perfect 10. A fallacy and falsity that we must accept. Having faith in the Lord is the path to righteousness and He is always waiting with open arms. Love is but a chemical reaction and does not really exist between a man and a woman. True love signifies length, strength, trust, and respect. This is what we live for, this is why we breathe, and this is why no other one can ever know the other's love.

Ooooooh She Really Mad.

Stop being such a stupid silly simple bitch. I'm not a rapper I'm a writer. I'm not a wanna be you fucking sideline I'm half mexican and half white. Stop stealing Baby Daddy's lines. There is nothing wrong with being a "mutt". My kids are mutts too you stupid slut. You better be happy I live in Texas because if we ever crossed paths I'd put your ugly ass in Ga's red clay. If you wanted to talk down to me, this isn't the correct way. You already called me once, you got the number. You are so lame and pathetic leaving comments on my shit at 6 in the morning. You really don't have a life, you'll NEVER be his wife and you will not be accepted in any of our lives. When will you learn that you've already had your turn? You fucked up because your love wasn't good enough. You are crazy. Ugly. Every person you've ever met says you sound like a man. You are so damn ugly with your cleft pallet lip, no body wants to see that shit. You could die today and no body would even remember your name. And what's with all your pictures, do you live in your car? Jesus please give this girl someone else to stalk. You have no idea what you're even doing do you? Why are you so mad at me? I didn't make him cheat. I didn't make him leave. I'm not the one who you caught between the sheets. I wonder why you were calling me? I'm not your friend. I'd never waste time listening to what you have to say. Why are you even reading this blog? Why do you check my Tweets so religiously? I have nothing to do with my Baby Dad and that includes fucking with you. I have five kids, a full time job, plenty of love and stay on my OWN stuff. No one is worried about you. Get a fucking clue! You are just piece of Salvi Trash. You're nothing but a washed up ol dusty rag. You will never be anything. You will never do anything. You're a fucking weak ass, ugly bitch who can't even come up with decent slams. Get a life, grow an ass, remove MY angel wings from your manly back. Stop it! You just look mad. It's super sad.

Driving home

T-Minus 7, 6, 5 praying for a smooth ride. There's numbers, lists, letters, words, nerves, memories and emotions jumbled up in the fore front. Trying to navigate through the storm, there is daylight on the other side, it looks peaceful and warm. She's still surviving. Swimming fast. Living her life. She'll make it to the finish line. She needed that nudge from the sting she got from that cut. The blade bleeds, it didn't cut deep. She's already healed, skin peels then she starts again. Scars show pain from the past that she'd prefer to hide away with the former, never utter a single word on him. She's starring in this new hit drama and is the creator, the writer, the director, the leading lady of her own pilot, co-pilot, holding it steady, ready to give the word from top of the control tower. Clean landing, fresh out the shower, slip into a new pair of sneaks, he gets to caress her flushed cheeks beneath those dry, lash curled eyes. The color is mesmerizing, the voice, the tender sensitive touch from her frozen love. His sun multiplies and defrosts her frozen heart, it starts pounding, beating hard beneath her breast underneath her chest plate. With a full belly he's ready for a warm, sweet dripping desert to top off the mood. It's understood she gets hers 1st then he can devour the rest. The sharing is the test and the meal is filling but still she needs something more. She is never completely full. She leaks fuel. She needs a better mechanic who can diagnose her under carriage with care only putting emphasis on the root of her issues and helping her manage the wear and tear. She never knows who will disappear and who will still be there when she turns around to ask for directions, a landmark, any sign pointing her straight ahead. Hoping it's not too late she asks for a double, an old friend says, You look troubled. She says no, downs her drink and leaves. Reverses from the scene and ends scene. The empty lanes are serene, no sun gleam, no baby screams just her in her own lane. She's finally driving home.