5 to life

I never even knew I was committin a crime until I found myself facing 5 to life. I said, "I'll kill you with my heart and love you to death" but I guess he didn't take me serious. I was armed and dangerous and didn't even know the damage I would cause with just one blow. I thought I warned him before it ever got too deep that I was packin some serious heat. He came with me anyway despite the warning signs to stay away. I guess the danger attracted him in some way. When he got too close I struck and he became tangled in my love and it constricted him and cut circulation of his blood. After that savage attack he learned to stay back but he just couldn't quit. He was addicted before he ever felt the full effect and every time it wore off he would come runnin back. Now I've created an addict, a monster in his own right. The more I pushed him away the more he put up a fight. He was in too deep, he got too close to the heat. My love was just too much for him to handle. It consumed and overwhelmed him at every angle. I could argue it was all self defense but the evidence was damagin. My heart became exhibit A in my own murder case. The proof was blatant and I couldn't escape the truth starin me directly in the face. What have I done? Where did I go wrong? Why do I have to love so damn hard? My heart is a deadly weapon and it discharged. Now I'm rottin in a cell waitin on my sentence. The judge said 5 to life for committin the ultimate offense. I admitted to the crime and now I have to face the time. I have no regrets. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I'll kill you with my heart and love you to death.

I HIT 5000 VIEWS!!!

5,000 views today!! I finally hit 5,000 views and I have no words.. but this is a blog so I have to come up with somethin. :p hehe. First I believe thanks are in order. To my followers and avid readers I want to Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking out time to stop and check me out. I know that there are also people out there who have read through these blogs who don't even like me or the things I have to say and yet they come by and give me views all the time. So shout outs to anyone and everyone who has ever read, liked and/or commented on these crazy blogs. Writing is my passion. It is my therapy. It is my life. I am writing. My next book will be out at some point either this year or the beginning of next so be on the look out. When it comes out I'll try and do a two for one type deal with it and my 1st book, "Short Stories & Poetry Worth a Dime". I am grateful that God gave me my gift and I'll continue to write until my days are done. Blessings to ALL you folks! I'll keep writing and you keep the views comin! Lets turn 5,000 into 10,000! Here is to another 3 years and 5,000 more views! I love it! Loves n Kisses from your local XOXO Supplier. If you have any blog ideas shoot me an email and I'll see what I can do. txmolasses@att.net Peace, bliss and loveliness to you all!! Thank you for your interest it is my spark! 

Feliz Dia de Amor 2015

Hi ya'll. Happy Valentine's day 2015! I was on my way out the door this morning at 7:25 am when the phone started ringing. "Who is callin my house this early on a Saturday?" It was my boo bear. =D Calling to catch me before work just to be the 1st person to tell me Happy Valentine's day. My wittle heart melted. He's so damn sweet! :) I ask God how I got so lucky to find a man who truly loves me and will go above and beyond to show me how special I am for him. There is no one in this world who has EVER made me feel as special as Cartoon has. Even from inside of a penitentiary he is able to make me feel more special than any girl out here in the free world. I can't wait for him to see the hand made card I sent him that took me all of 3 hours to craft and I certainly can't wait to get mine! My baby always goes all out for his queen. We were talkin about Mayo trece and how close it is awready. We went from 5 years to 80 something days. It is so close we can feel it now. The anxiety is wearing on us both but the excitement is overriding the anxiety by far. I just wanted to express how thoroughly lucky I am to have such an amazing man in my life. Thank you God for looking out for me and mine. We are forever at your service Lord and where you shine the light we will follow. I know that as long as we follow your plan for us everything else will fall into place! To all the love birds out there it's important to appreciate the person God gave you and know that even when times are rough you never have to be alone. I love you Mr. Reyes. Thank you for everything you do for me and my babies. We love you and we look forward to beginning our lives together. By this time next year we will be celebrating V-Day happily together under the same roof. This will be the last Vday I sleep alone. I wish you all blessings and happiness on this VDay in 2015. Make it special for him/her! ;) Love, your local xoxosupplier. Muaks!!! XOXOXO! 

Here's to the end

Her heart says sorry she ever let you in. She can't repair the damaged shell she dwells in. She only blames you for the pain from the memories that remain. She tries to forget but the pictures tell it different. Those smiles weren't fake, the conversations weren't fabricated, and the nights were fun. We all had the same favorite song. Dancing and laughing lingers in her thoughts. She can't help but to wonder where you are. How have you been? What have you done? Were there moments when you too had some of those thoughts? If not. Who cares? She still cares a little but if she saw you today you'd probably clash because she would feed off of your negative a$$. Why can't past be past? Maybe because you never discussed it at last but left it sitting like sour milk in a glass. It was never aired out, it just rotted away and died out. You probably don't know but she's cried it all out. Yea, to some of you that makes you feel good and proud. Seeing pain on her gives you a sense of relief. That right there is another reason you didn't try turning couldn't into could. You could never feel genuinely happy for what she had goin on. It makes her wonder what you were focusing on. Either way it did not end amicably and for that she don't like you nor me. She still thinks about it and it still isn't resolved. Will we ever get a chance to put it on the shelf? Will she ever be delighted to see your face again? How do you feel about the way it ended? Were you fine with what the friendship defined? Do you think you were the best friend you could have been at the time? Do you feel anything at all? She will always wonder what became of you. She will never rid herself of her memorabilia of your truth. She concludes with this. She misses every last drop of your goodness so don't deny yourself the urge to reminisce. It's Peace, Bliss and Loveliness. 

Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life [x10]

Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life [x8]

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life [x16]

Real Time, Real Talk

The minutes don't stop tickin and my heart ain't quit beatin, we're still eatin over here. The days keep on comin so I guess that means another paycheck comin and last I checked we're still breathin fresh air. I wish I could ask why some of you still care. Is it pain or anger in there? Either way I am sorry you feel the way you do. I too had my own issues I had to work through. I know what it is to give in. I know how it feels to do something for nothin. Give up. Trust no one. Live in an empty existence. Settle for less than what you want. Feel like love just ain't enough. I never saw myself as strong. I always thought I needed someone else in order to get along. I didn't believe I could do it on my own. Could never figure out how to credit myself. I always felt my very best was never good enough. I was a liar. I lied to myself for so long and tried justifying the stupidest things that I began to believe in all the crap I was saying. I've made my own way and made up my own rules for so long that I got burned out, worn down. I had to get out of that way of thinking and the only way was to stop speaking and start listening. It is so easy to fall into the same patterns but you have to find the will inside yourself to break out of the hell and break free from the pain. We all have our own side of the story and we all tell it differently. Ya'll could never understand the weight I bear so why would I let your opinions disturb me. I'm far from where you think we left off. Really, I've completely fallen off, I took off, got back up and dusted myself off. I'm moved on. I don't hang onto old junk, I can't be around the funk. I have to back up and stay out of the mess that those who are still trying to make it their own ways create. You don't have to feel bad for taking me out of the mix, I don't feel bad one bit. I am way happier for it. I have surrounded myself with an army of soldiers who are slowly but surely helping me take down my boulder. I am in a good place and nothing else exists. I will find my way but it won't be on my own it will be through him. If you still don't know who he is I suggest you go read the last few blogs again. Stop runnin from your faith. The calling will never go away. Focus on him and stop focusing on your way, follow his plan and everything else will work out. Give your anger to Jesus he can help you out. ;) Leave another comment and thank you for motivating me. Even though you didn't have the guts to leave your name, I will make sure to keep your anonymous soul in my prayers. (;  xoxo's ;) 

Moving On

The conversation today went great. A weight has been lifted that I feel I've had for what seems like ages. After all of my contemplation I was given a mirror with which I was desperate to see the reflection. A few burning questions were revealed from beneath the steam. I am finally able to replace the pain and guilt in my chest with breath. I am once again free to live my life. I can move past the past and let go of the strife. I can wipe away the dirt and grime and start with a clean slate. I will grab onto the baton and finish the race. No matter the outcome I know I come in 1st place. I am at peace. I have a new found will. I've been given a new lease. I'm ready to move in, move forward and begin again. The best things in life are made from scratch, built from the ground up and not easy to mimic or match. Life is a continuation of time but I am beginning to discover that my life is a continuation of light. Through the daily battle between wrong and right I have found the darkness is always stomped out by the light. At one point I was ready to give up and give in to the dark side but God reminded me that he is with me and renewed my fight. Now I can never turn back to that life. I have no time to slack. I've learned to think before I react. I have to be a role model for five souls. Can I take on the task? Am I prepared for that? I need you God to continue to guide us along this path. I won't move without you and I know now what it is I am meant to do. I understand my purpose in this world. I am yours. I know your plan for us is unthinkable, unimaginable, irrefutably the best way possible. I ask you lord to guard my soul. Keep me rooted in my faith and knowing that you will never turn me away. I am full when I eat your fruits, consume your word and share my knowledge with my children so that they too may be full in their spirits. You have given me all I can account for and I am eternally grateful for your son Jesus and the sacrifice he made for my sins. I would be lost in this life without knowing that truth Lord. So thank you. I will fail without you God. Let my life be a testimony to those struggling that even the lost have a way. Anything can be done through faith. I am here to forever serve you and play my role as a soldier of the light. I will fight for what I believe is right. I won't lose sight. I will never stomp out the light. God is the way and with his grace we will live to write another line, smile another smile, breathe another breath, turn another page, live another day. Life is this amazing gift. Embrace it.