Finally Us

First came his voice, smooth on the wire like velvet and silk. Next came his words, poured out over me like milk and sweet like honey. They were divine in a time of need when I had lost all hope in mankind. Men like him do exist. He is no unicorn and he is all mine, not yours. He moves me without one nudge. He turns me on without one touch. He opens me up like a book and studies my words. He reads me slow and recites me like a poem. There is no place like home. He understands me. He really sees me. Love is the rock upon which we are both standing. I knew from the beginning he would treat me different. I've never had trust like this. I've never questioned his true intentions. He says what he means and means what he says. When he said he loved me, he meant it. I don't question his motives. I believe God fashioned him from precious metals like gold and silver. He is my treasure. His faith drives his respect and patience. He leans on the gospel for understanding. He prays for me. He cares about my well-being. He encourages me to write, to sing, to read, and to be the best me. He says I'm perfect to which I don't agree but perfect for him I can be because he believes in me. When I gaze into his starry eyes, I want to get lost in his universe. His smile and laugh provoke me to dance with his tongue. His humor fills me with helium like a balloon and lifts me off the ground. His heart is as warming as a camp fire. His style is more charming than a sword drawn prince. He puts me in a trance with one glance. His stories are worth repeating. He made a non-believer believe. His strength pressed a piece of coal into a diamond. I've made a comfortable place for him to live in the confines of my heart. The space belongs to him. The same way my little finger longs for a band. When ever it happens, that will be the great crescendo of the first piece in our love's symphony. Chapter one will close with our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Louis Vargas. Here is to him. The only man ever brave enough to come and rescue me from sure death. He ignites the love in me and God has blessed me for loving him unconditionally. Lastly, comes when I'm laying on his inviting chest, laughing about all the things we thought we had and lost, realizing what was missing the whole time was us. His wild heart will be safe in my hands and I will hold tight to it like reins and he will ride away into my captivating beauty when the sunset calls him home. 

You Don't Know Me

Of course not. Wanna know why? Because neither do I. Do you know who you really are? Why are you worried about me? God knows who I'm supposed to be. I am still becoming acquainted with who I am meant to be. So, to say you don't know me is a true statement. No one really knows who they are meant to be. We are born sinners. We are called to join Jesus and be redeemed. That's what is true to me. That is something I know for certain. That is my truth. So who I am. Who you don't know, is not important in the grand scheme of things. Do you get that? How can you call yourself a Christian but be so judgmental of the very people you're meant to lead to your beliefs? It's confusing to me. I can stare in the mirror. Change my hair. Put make-up on my face. I can change my weight. Make myself look a certain way. Then turn around and change it again. None of that defines who I am. You look at me through a screen, a magnifying lens, and think you know me. Have you dug deep and swam to the ocean floor of my sea? Have you walked in my shoes? Have you sung my blues? Have you fought the demons in my heart? Have you battled my flesh? You don't know me. You won't even try. You don't know me because you can't see past your own perception of who I am. You don't know really know yourself. Ask God to introduce you to the men and women he's called you to be instead of scrutinizing me. Have a real conversation with Jesus and ask him to walk with you instead of questioning my faith. I am content in my journey with him. As humans we will be persecuted for what we believe. I am not going to fall victim to your ways. The holy spirit dwells within me and that's all I need. I won't be mean. I won't judge you for turning your back to me. I can't hold grudges if I want Jesus to take those things for me. I am still getting to know my true self and God says that's ok. I can admit I am a constant work in progress. I invite you to meet her for yourself. No one is perfect except Jesus himself. Right now we are all strangers to our own hearts. Only God knows who we really are. Next time you are quick to judge, remind yourself who is in charge. 

Mother of Five

I haven't done this in quite some time, just write about what's on my mind. Today my oldest child turns 15. I am a mother of five and my 1st is not a baby anymore. She has grown into a beautiful, delicate rose. Each petal kissed by God. She is intelligent. She is caring. She is lovely to me. She is one of my closest friends and I am proud to call her mine. Juliette, my sweet Juliette. You are the angel that God sent to keep me safe. Ever since the day we met I've known no sweeter joy. It has been a pleasure raising you and growing up together. I remember our very 1st conversations, you were still living in my belly then. I knew you would be a treasure. I promised I wouldn't cry. I just love you so very very much. Words can't really tell. The important thing is you feel. I pray you feel the love I have for you and know it's real. I pray the same of our Heavenly Father above for you, to feel his glory and love and know it's true. He created every fiber of your being with his Love. Before you were ever mine, you were his. He knew how much joy your presence would shed on the World. Mine. His. I will love you forever and past the end of time. Should we ever have to part ways, just know that I had a stake in the vast land of your mind long ago and I've flown my flag on your heart for sometime now. You won't ever truly be alone. I am your mother but you are my home. When the day arrives that you decide it's time for you to roam I hope and pray you will be able to find your way back to me. Home.  

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