Sunday, January 6, 2013

There are Plenty-O-Fish in the sea

It's 5:30 in the morning and I'm yawning. I'm sleepy but I can't sleep. I hate the feeling of defeat. He don't love me and he never will. None of them ever did and they don't still. I'm ok with that now but it still hurts somehow. I'm alone right now but I won't be forever. Unless that's God's will then I'll be ok with it still. The loneliness is only temporary. That's what they keep telling me. Life alone just seems so scary. I see the tragic triumph in her eyes as if she won some magic prize but boredom lies beside her you can see it in his eyes. He misses my thighs, my lips, my touch, my soft skin. I don't miss him much except for when I hear a song or want a hug. I met this guy that was nice at first but then he turned into a grouch. I told him if I wanted to be treated that way I would have tried to stick it out. I told him the same thing I'll tell any guy who wants to be an asshole, I won't allow for some dickhead to treat or speak to me just any old way. I've had enough of being treated that way. I am allowed to be, act, look, feel or say any damn thing any damn way. I'm going to say something if I have something to say. I'm going to look at you if I think you have a nice face. Excuse me for being so fucking sweet all the time. I'm not one to just sit back and hide. I like to express what's on my mind. A trait of mine that obviously intimidates their kind. I've tried being mean and nasty and rude, it just doesn't look good on me and instead I end up looking like a fool. I'm a lover and a giver. I nurture for a living. All I ever wanted was to take care of somebody who would let me and love me for it but got ditched so he could run off and get hitched to a young, ugly, silly simple Bitch. I guess I'll just have to wait to see who will come along and scratch my itch. Who will have room for me in their niche? Will I ever find my match? Is my fish still swimming alone out there in forever or has my fish already become somebody else's catch?