Just another Baby Momma Part II

When does this feeling die? Does it ever go away? Can't we just let shit lay? I miss the hell outta you but not like this. We're not even speaking but at who's expense? I can't just remove you from my life as easy as it should be. The other day I had such a beautiful dream. Do you remember the night we talked for hours on the floor of my new apt.? I had an angel in my belly then. That is the night I fell in love. Sometimes I wish we had never met and that we could take it all back. Maybe then we could be friends again? Were we ever deserving of one another? I feel like I drowned you and in the end you smothered me. We killed each other, came back from the dead then shot ourselves in the head, and died again. Does it ever end? People say that knowledge is power but it killed us both. We still have ill feelings trapped in a box, wrapped up, duct tapped and super glued shut in the pit of our very existences. But I don't hate you, dislike you or despise you. You're mine even still, ill-willed but you still love me and I you. So I pose this question again, When does this feeling end? Will it ever go away? Fade like dye? I'll try to wash it out and I'm sure you will too. The funny thing though is even after all of this I'm still the one. It's not literal, maybe metaphoric but you slay me, have my blood on your hands and pants, stained like the dye of my life. I just died again. Join me? Naw, who am kidding? You're no Romeo. Now we're just two living-dead zombified excuses for humans. So now what? Not much. Just feels like we've both been punched in the gut, kicked in the side, given two black and blue eyes, and a big fat split lip. Well maybe not you, I can only speak for myself and I feel like hell. I'm letting it burn and it fuckin burns bad, red hot, like a poker from a bonfire in the sand. Im tired. I miss you but why? I let go, lost you, you're gone and I stand here all alone. Always alone, forever is unknown. The merry-go-round has left the ground like a flying saucer spinning through the air. I can't hold on forever and neither can you so what should we do? This carnival ride probably won't ever stop so we're going to have to jump off. Hopefully it'll stop before we get brave and actually jump. Maybe this time we'll survive, help the other up, look back, and laugh. Why can't it be that easy? I'd much rather laugh and have fun than stare down the barrel of a gun or point one in the opposite direction in the face of a person I love. What do you see when you look at your reflection? Isn't it easier to be nice because it flows naturally out of your soul? Bein mean and nasty is the last thing that either of us wants. So why can't we stop? Just stop! Let's swallow our pride like a couple of shots, put one in the air to forget our despair, shake hands and perhaps share a hug, turn around and chunk the deuces up. Maybe then we'll see each other again, become friends and let a better cycle begin.