The Truth in Torture

The torture is not in the length of the days. It's not in the time that inches by. It's no different from one minute to the next. The torture is not knowing what is to come next. Not knowing where you are. Not knowing if you're safe. Not knowing where we stand. Not knowing you'll understand. Not being allowed to see your face or hold your hand. The torture is not knowing if you're suffering the way I am. I'm sorry I was impatient. I'm sorry we were ripped apart. When I was taken from you just know that with you remained my heart. I hope in some way you'll be comforted to know that I don't feel pain because in your hands my heart you hold. I feel no pain, I'm in no discomfort. I'm only bothered by not knowing if this will affect you in the long run. I know my actions have caused you harm. It's torture not knowing if the wounds will last long term. I want you to know that I'm sorry for what I've done. I'm sorry for what my actions have caused. My souls cries out to God each moment that passes. I know he sees our suffering and can only pray he is hastily taking action. Though it was my mistakes to have brought us here God has been kind enough to soak up every tear. It's torture to know I can't be there to comfort you when you cry. It's torture to go to bed alone every night. I used to believe that out of sight is out of mind but I can see your face every time I close my eyes. That is my peace among all of this chaos. It's torture not to be able to offer up my breast for you to lay on. The torture is not being able to be there for you now when you need me the most. Not being around to catch you when you fall. Not being able to kiss it and make it better. There are many things that right now are unknown. I do know that soon this nightmare will be done. God so loved the World he sent his only son. I trust that if Christ spilled his blood for love that I will make my way back to the heart that you hold. The love we share is stronger than any bond. Hold tight to my heart that you hold in your hands. I'm surviving through this torture because I know God has a perfect plan. He is mapping it out for me inch by inch, day by day. The torture in today is leading me through this tunnel. I am blind in this darkness yet there you stand with my heart. You are the light that will bring me out of the dark. Just hold on my love, we will be together again. The truth in the torture is not knowing how, why or when.