Timing is everything

I hate this shit. For real. I just want to bust up the silence right quick. I want to be the noisiest cricket in this bitch. I want to suck face. I fucking hate missing you. I feel like I'm insane. It is absolute torture. I just want to be there. I want to make you smile and hear your laughter. I want to scroll through playlists and make fun of your taste. I want you to make me blush. I want to drink too much so we can take care of each other. I want to feel you laying next to me. Doing nothing with you was the best time of my life. Come back. Leave me alone. Here I go again, loving unicorns. I want to feed you. I want to scratch your scalp as you lay on my boobs. I just want to see you. Is it so wrong that I miss your face this much? I hate this more than anything else. You're right there, all I have to do is reach out but I know I'm not supposed to. According to who? I know this is not what you want. If we had it our way, we'd be together right now. Getting drunk! I hope you had a swell New Year punk. I was laid up with the flu, hugged up in a cold sweat with a pillow thinking of you. I guess I figured things would be different by now. Boy, how I was wrong. Ok, so I accept that I allowed you to break down my walls, steal my heart, break it and reject me. A first for me and hopefully the last. I see you, you big ol scaredy cat, keep holding back. I know you feel this shit too or else it wouldn't be so fkn strong. My instincts are calling you out. One day I will get what I want. Just watch. For now, I'm going to go along with acting like nothing ever happened and that everything is fine. I'll keep listening to your songs and you keep listening to mine. I'm stronger now and I found a few distractions that I actually like. So I'm going to see how long I can go before I disturb the peace. Let you build up your peace of mind before I come in and tear it down again. I want you to miss me for a minute. I love you with my small and large intestines. For now, Peace. I'm out. xx