For my Baby Dad

Tit for tat? Is that a fact? Well you've done just that? Got me back? For what? I'll never know. Don't really care. All I will ever know is your back. The way you react. The words you use to attack. The things you lack. Time wasted being ugly and mean that you'll never get back. Our past. The past. The pain. My pain. The poison you've injected through your lies directly into my veins. The tiny little faces that look up into my eyes and ask me the whys. Why daddy left? Where did he go? Will he ever come back? Those piercing questions force me to react. I have to protect. These babies are all I have left. From the wreckage of losing my best friend and for putting all of my faith and belief into something that would never be achieved. A nice family. Love and security. Things you could never give to me. Would have, could have, should have. Well you didn't and neither did I. I am not pointing one finger your way.. well maybe one but not the index or the thumb and not the little one or the ring one neither. So I have left overs in my refrigerator. Yes. I can either serve this shit up for you cold on a silver platter. Hand you a disaster. Or we can sit calmy together over a warm meal and spill out our raw feelings over what we both think caused this whole deal. But at this point I'm sad to report that we lost the chance even for that last dance. You crossed the line with bringing up my Pops and for that we will never get to have that talk. I never want to serve you up nothing but rocks. I never want to sit and do shit with you ever again except make fun of your ugly ass boyfriend. I am having a blast without you here. I'll bet that shit pains you too that its with some other dude. But in all honesty it shouldn't bother you because you chose to be with someone different. So all this was supposed to come out smooth and I wasn't supposed to end this shit rude or on another bad note. But you have that effect on me which is why I am so happy you are not here to ruin the moment. You and I never got the opportunity to sit down and just talk. Everything happened so fast and that's the only thing I wonder about sometimes. Why you and I could never talk? Now we are both just so past done that nothing will ever be the same ever again. You lost a great friend. I lost a great ****. Our children lost their father. You tell me which one of those is the hardest to replace. This mess we've made has made a stain that I'll never try and cover up or clean again. No disinfectant could ever decontaminate this mess we've made. Our whole lives together was a mistake. You put razor blades in my cake. I'll never trust you again. I should have never called you a friend. I should have never wished you were my man. I should have never ever let you back in again and again. Would have, could have, should have but I didn't. Until now. I'll never care where, with whom, what, how or when you do anything you do ever again. Thats the end. You make no difference except for when you're gone. Alone. Always alone. I'm not. Sorry. Nope. Nope. I'm not. You are nothing but a liar and a cheater and you got caught. Now that's a shame. You played your little game. You lost. Power off. Powers out. Black out. No lights. No body is home. That's what you'll get if you ever try to come back. You are not welcome in my future, you are not welcome in my present and you are nothing but the piled up trash of my past. The future is bright. Get yourself a flashlight. Hope you have a good night. Or better yet a good life. Stay away from mine.