A love like Ours

I told you I'd never quit this but it got too real for a few of you. It's ok because it was never meant for you to view. All I see is what is in my view. My future and what I left in the rearview. I haven't had much to say until now. I guess you could say it was building up and now I'm ready to blow. It's coming to the surface and has nowhere to go but here. Internal bleeding. They can't find where it's coming from, it's only a matter of time now before I bleed out. I'll die before I ever quit this I thought I told y'all, probably did but nobody ever listens to me. I have a few things I need to get off my chest now. You ready? I could care less if you are or not because I'm going to go on anyway. Have I ever cared about you being ready before? C'mon you're well aware of the answer now. It just gushes out of me I can't stop the flow. When it's time it's time I don't question it I just let it come. Now seems like the perfect time. And what a beautiful season to repent. God so loved the World type business. Yea I said it and what? If you're ashamed of your faith in Christ I can't help you with that. I'm not. I know and stand firm by what I believe in. I have a tough time following him and maintaining my focus but I'm aware enough to know it. I don't act like I'm perfect. No one is. I'll never try to portray a position of righteousness because I am a sinner. I sin every day and repent. I struggle everyday but I won't quit. Like this, I just can't put it down. I could never leave it alone. I'll write til I can't write anymore. I'll never put it down until I have nothing left in me. And trust me I've had moments recently when I've felt like I was at that point but some way and some how I always come back to this. My first true love. My therapy. My drug. Mine. They've tried to take it from me before but it's always here waiting for me with open arms. This pen and pad, this screen and keyboard. Countless ideas and endless dreams. Infinite words that burn my soul begging to come to the forefront to make me whole. I am nothing without God first and foremost. But I am nothing still without the words that fill the craters and crevices of my mind. Time. Call it what you will it's just me and my head only we'll call it My Jumble instead. And just like that all the blood rushed from my body and I was pronounced dead.


To the love of my life: Writing. I will never leave you. You are my life, my soul, my spirit. Everything that makes me whole. The only constant I have ever known. I love you. XOXO.


I can only hope for the rest of you that you can find a love as true as ours. May God bless you.