Still waiting for my T-shirt

One of a kind, never mine. Beautiful eyes, epic mind. Hands like velvet, lips like satin. Why did you have to go? We were just getting started. You chose flight over fight. I got a one way ticket to a deserted island. I still love you. It doesn't change a thing. You're still not mine. You're still gone. I'm a one woman show. Maybe if I would have slowed down, peeped the scene, or played my hand accordingly instead of pressing my foot on the gas, diving right in, or betting all in I'd still be in the race, still have a view, or still be in the game. Some days I think I can't take this. What would he do if I just burst in, grabbed his immaculate face and placed a fragile kiss on his delectable lips? Would he retreat? Would he reciprocate? Oh dreaded fate. How could you allow me to fuck up this badly? One more chance. I hit rewind in my head all of the time. What I would do for one more chance to call him mine. Take me back to the brewery. I would have sung karaoke and passed out on his couch. That night after the movies, I never would've taken him home with me, and even if it had still ended that way, I would've kept my clothes on. Take me back to Tuesday night and too many tequila shots, I would've put on his t-shirt and let him drive me home. I just miss your face. Your nose in my hair, your head on my pillow, your shoes next to my bed. Get out of my head. I don't want to do this anymore. This is ridiculous. I have never been this girl. I never have. I was just fine before you came along. I was stuck in my broken ways. I feel like I'm still waiting to see what happens next. I'm absolutely pathetic. The credits ran along time ago and now I'm just sitting in the dark, quiet theater alone. I can't seem to make any of my limbs move. I want to stay here and wait for you. What did you do? What have you done? What trickery, sorcery, voodoo have you done? Who have I become? I don't know this shell of a being staring at me in the mirror. Where is her confidence? Where is her inner she wolf? Where is the sexual deviant she has been for so long? They're all gone. They've abandoned her too. Now there is nothing left. She is but skin and bones. I'm sure everyone knows by now but I am telling you here and now that you completely fuckt up my head, you broke my heart, disrupted my fickle nature, and made my whole world stop. I am not used to rejection. Maybe that's what it is? I am not accustom to lingering after he calls it quits. I am usually the one running for the door. I am the one who leaves hearts shattered on the floor. This situation is obviously unique and frankly I am over trying to comprehend what you did to me. I'll never understand. I accept that. I have to learn to live with loving you from afar, singing along to the songs in your heart, crying into my hands and acting like everything is fine. You had no trouble making up your mind. You're just fine. You don't even miss me. You sleep like a baby at night. I'm over here looking like a damned fool, still waiting for my T-shirt.