Fractures

When you suffer from a deep open wound, how do you stop the bleeding? Apply pressure. Suffocate the source. When a fragile bone breaks, how do you fix it? Reset it. Give it time to mend itself. Think of anything other than the pain. Mind over matter they say. But what about a shattered heart? What's the cure for that? I'm tired of neglecting my God given right to be ok. So very tired of being sad every day. Unable to understand how and why I still miss his face. I've been cut deep enough times to know I can survive anything. I have more power than I think. I am stronger than I lead myself to believe. I am smarter than I give myself credit for. I am more beautiful than my eyes will allow me see. I am loved an immeausurable amount that I can't conceive. I know all of these things yet I still have doubt. I still feel weak. I still question my capabilities. I still feel ugly and unloved. I am alone and that is my truth. I live and breath and eat and drink and wake and sleep in being lonely. I know I am not alone. I know the time spent on better things to better me is worth the effort I put in. I stay on the fence of sad and happiness. I want to move along with everyone else. I want to see my goals displayed on a shelf. I want to be ok with living with myself. I want to be happy with just being me. I know I don't need anybody. It doesn't change that it'd be nice to see somebody else in my bed every night. How long should you hold on to hope for the impossibilities that sit marinating on the back burner? Is there a statute of limitations for when to give up on love? When the bleeding finally stops and the bone is all healed up, what do you say to the heart?      

PSALMS 147:3