Thursday, April 15, 2021

Tuesday and So Slow

I'm cold and it's lonely and all I want is for you to hold me. You left when I asked but you should have stayed to console me. Now it's been days since I've seen you last and my heart is miserable and sad. I want to reach out to you but there is nothing to say and all I feel is shame; just makes me want you to stay away. Why did you leave me alone when you know we both have a hard time on our own? You used the excuse that I needed space when it seems to me that excuse went both ways. What happens when we get to this place? Why can't we ever stay on the same page? You say you want what's best for me. You say that you'd do anything. You know what I want but you just won't budge. What's best for me is You. If you'd do ANYTHING for me then make your move. I need to be rescued. Isn't that your favorite thing to do? I am confused by you. You say one thing but your choices show another. You say you want to be with me forever but you won't even start the timer. I know what you're going through but that is no excuse to put our lives on hold. God's plan is the only one that makes sense but you just keep trying to make changes to it. The truth is you have no real good reason or excuse not to want exactly what I do. If it's something you can't or won't say to me out loud, then maybe we should just chill out. I need to be with you, every day for the rest of my life. I want someday to be your wife. I want our kids to be happy and set them up for success. I want what's best for us all. You want what's best for yourself. I am having a very hard time right now. You wanted to give me space so I'm going to take as much as I think I need and I know this isn't just bothering me. Hopefully you'll figure it out and see for yourself that being apart is not where it's at. I can't force you to react but I can stay back. So take all the time and space you think you need. When you're ready to actually move forward with OUR lives, and turn what's mine into yours and what's yours into mine, you should know where to find me. I'll be in this sad and lonely place, right where you left me. All I want is to be yours, if only you'd let me. 

1 comment:

  1. Days have passed since you wrote this. I guess we’re done. I’ll always love you. All of you. Good. Bad. Crazy. Insecure. You. All of it. I do t handle things as you wish I did. You’re right of some but off on others. I can’t change those. I’ll love you always. Always. Lindz I’ve seen you change in the last year. You’ve turned into such a great woman. Guys and gals that hate her or are hating on her you don’t know what you’re missing. She’s amazing. Great mother. Great selfless lover. Great girlfriend. Just a great caring person. I changed my life for the chance at a life with her and just couldn’t get it done. I took a lot away from our time though. How I should be treated. She taught me what I deserve and how. She loves me so much she had to walk away because I’m not ready. That’s love. For the one of you that fucked her up. Fuck you. You were always piece of shit guys anyways that can’t treat a woman right. Couldn’t find a g spot w a map. Anyways. I love you lindz. Always will. If. It in this life I’ll see you again in the next. Love always Your B!!

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