Trust n believe

When we were together, I held you down
I gave you all of me, but look at us now
Thinking of all your excuses, but they don't add up
Now it's so easy to see you don't deserve my love

You pushed me far...you brought me to this
You had my heart...but then you blew it
And I'm so over you, go get lost
Boy who do you think that you are?

Trust and believe me, you're gonna need me
Trust and believe me, she'll never be me
And Im so over you
Go get lost
Boy I don't know Who you think that you are

You look so foolish
With my best friend
And she ain't no better than you
She's a 3, Im a 10en en en en yea
So why are you calling my phone?
You aint got nothing I want
Thought we were really in love
But that was all a front

You pushed me far...you brought me to it
You had my heart...but then you blew it
Ohh ! And I'm so over you, go get lost

Boy who do you think that you are?
Trust and believe me, you're gonna need me
Trust and believe me, she'll never be me
And I'm so over you
Go get lost
Boy I don't know Who you think that you are

How did you try to clean it up?
Boy please just stop it now
Don't make a sound

Cause you pushed me far...you brought me to this
You had my heart...but then you blew it
Woah..I'm so over you, so get lost
Boy who do you..
Who you think you are?

Believe me, you're gonna need me
( you're gonna need me )
Trust and believe me
( believe me )
She'll never be me
And I'm so over you
Go get lost
Boy I don't know Who you think you are

I'm so over you
Go get lost
Who do you think that you are?


Read more: KEYSHIA COLE - TRUST AND BELIEVE LYRICS

Counting Fireflies

There are words flying around in the air like fireflies inside my mind. I might need a net to catch some of the words that want to be said. The words multiplying inside me I fear will start dripping like water from a leaking faucet out of my ears. These words are so loud like the whir of a giant crowd I'm afraid I'll never be able to get them all out. My words are impatient and they've been standing in line for quite some time. Some of them are becoming exhausted and worn so they are acting out and my brain is suffering their scorn. I feel pushing and shoving and pulling and tugging. There is not enough space in the vast outer space that I describe as my mind. It is filling so quickly with moments and memories so these miscellaneous muttered words are being dispersed failing to make it out alive. My words are so cramped inside my head that they commit suicide instead. They take a dive off of the cliff into the deep abyss of my existence never to have ever even existed. I can't possibly sit here and sift through all of the dozens of piles of dirt and ash in an attempt to salvage any of them. They are gone, lost with all of the rest. Those crazy words of mine are strong but without each other become unknown and before I know it are long gone, never to have touched the page. Like they died of old age because I could never find the way to simply say anything. I hate that I was the murder of their fate. These young words are born into my mind so often but are rarely given a chance to live, see the sun shine or here the birds sing, to ever become anything. It is sad to me now to see all of the damage I've caused my self, my brain. It's enough to drive any one insane. I made a habit of hitting pause and just never looking back again. I'd press the pen to the pad but cry instead. I was holding these words as hostages in my head. All of that time spent and all of those beautiful rhymes sent are now dead and buried. Why didn't I do more to help them escape? I could have stopped those innocent words and gave them a home, a better fate, instead I did nothing to have them saved and now they are dead. Of lessons learned, being severely burned, locking up my feelings and words and beating them numb I still can't seem to let them up. I think I'm on a power trip. I refuse to let that leaky faucet drip. I've been held back for so so long that being set free is hindering my creativity. I'm not used to having free range and freedom to let the words speak. I have so much time freed that the words in my mind all find a way to be awake and vying for my attention at the same time. I want to give them a way to be free and enjoy this journey with me. They too deserve a chance to be free. I want my words to take the window seat so they can see what I've seen. My poor words need some TLC and an outlet from which to be set free. I can finally let go of this rail and let my hair down to be blown in the wind. These flipping, fumbling, tumbling crazed words in my head belong somewhere other than my bustling brain. A poem, a song or a story perhaps is where my words belong instead. No more pausing my game til the end. No more letting anyone hold me back again. No more neglecting the best friends I will ever have. My thoughts. My confidants. My allies. My fireflies. 

Black Locks

Really Bitch? Black locks?? Mutt?? EBrake? "It is my "charisma" that makes me attractive." "Aye Adam Sandler." "My broke ass bf is buying me diamonds." "Mommy and daddy-in-law" "Step daddy" OH MY GOD!!!! Bitch he aint even a real daddy to HIS own kids. I can't take it anymore. You are worse off than I initially thought. I've heard of imitations but really Wallpaper? Really?? Black locks!! Bitch who even says that? Um Oh yea, Me! That's who. You can block all of Instagram but me and my friends are still laughing at your ugly ass. You shout out that skinny fool so much and he never comes to like any of your ugly ass pics. Wonder why? And every picture u have together is candid. He looks miserable and skinny and sick in most of them anyway. Aren't you feeding him? You are both beyond pathetic at this point. First of all. That crazy girl you were talking to on IG for your information used to be one of my best friends but fucked up and now we don't even speak. Haven't for months. I noticed you blocked her per Tonto but let me tell you it was hilarious to see yall trying to stab me together. You don't even know who she is. I've known her since I was 5 and was in love with her older brother nearly half my life. She is a Bi-Polar, compulsive liar, drug addict, felon, thief and has no friends. Scams on other chicks' dudes (My Cousin). She is probably more pathetic than you. So I don't know what that was all about but I'm glad he made you cut ties with her. I just thought it was so cute of you to be nice to her because she has no one. Her mother avoids her like the plaque and her dude beats the shit out of her. She is nothing but a dusty ol rag. She is a psycho though and I'm beginning to think the same is true for you. I mean I understand getting your man or husband's name tatted but you got his full name on your twat before you were even dating. That's fucking scary! And it's not even pretty. It looks like "Antonto" That's not even an A. Oh well. You know he told me some pretty awful things about you but I wont give you all the details. I'll let you wonder what kind of shit we used to laugh about so next time you look into his sparkling brown eyes you can wonder what he really thinks about you and your "unmentionable" past. If he left me for the shit I've done in my past and my "sinfulness" like he said then what do you think he'll do to you? Oh but wait, He said he loved me. He doesn't love you for real so I guess you being an ugly slut before he got with you doesn't bother him as much. I know you ratted out your team for him so he could get his stolen car parts back too. Shows where your loyalty lies. I wish I knew your baby daddy cus I'd tell him you were the one who got all them niggas jacked. They probably already hate you anyway because now you're with the head of 7th Gear. Bad rep? Do you even know where "Mutt" comes from anyway? No. Of course not. Your stupid ass just thinks it's some funny name he calls me. For your silly simple bitch ass self, "Mutt" happens to be a nickname that your man's OTHER baby momma used to call me. LMFAO!! So you can't even come up with your own nicknames for me. And btw, the term Mutt never even bothered me when that other hoe called me it because guess what DUMB ASSES????? I AM A FUCKING MUTT! Proud of it too. My daddy was white and my mother is Mexican. All it means is I'm a mixed breed. You're a mutt too pendeja. Your parents are from two diff places. At least I'm 100% pure bred Houston, Texan!! You can't even say that. Sucka! So you look really really stupid calling me Mutt when it don't even bother me none and your dudes other bitch made it up. STUPID! What else you got? Fat? Nope. Sorry not anymore and if you motherfuckers think I'm fat then you're blind. Saggy tits? Ok. I'll give you that one. That's what push up bras are for and btw I BREAST FED FIVE KIDS! So yea my titties sag. Oh well. Sucks for me. EBrake! That one is just funny to me. How is that even mean? Was it meant to hurt my feelings cus it actually makes me feel pretty good. I'm happy to be an EBrake. Too bad your man didn't use his when he was eating my fat juicy wet wet after you went back to the A! hahahaha. Slut? Hoe? Whore? Those are laughable excuses for lack of creativity because I can turn all of those around and say the same about you. Hoe committee! That's actually a good one. Did you come up with that one or did he? Either way it made me laugh. lol What else? Oh yes, Tranquil. Really? You cant even spell it right. And I guess you need me to explain that one too huh? When baby daddy and I would fight we made up these "safe" words so we could know when it was safe to talk. Mine was Tranquil and his was Toronto. But he started using mine all the time so I started saying his. Smh. There are so many of the little things that he says and does that came from me that I see and hear you do and say and it makes me want to vomit. I think black locks takes the cake though. You are so pathetic. Grab a fuckin thesaurus. As a writer I can honestly recommend one as a resource to anyone. Haven't I told you before you can't be me? Why are you so lame? I wish he would have picked a smart, sweet, pretty bitch because that way at least I couldn't say shit. But damn baby gul you're just giving me the ammunition for free. I don't even have to work at making you look stupid because you both do such a great job of making yourselves look like a bunch of looming idiots. Gosh. It's like I can feel you wanting to be me so bad it's making my skin crawl. You are not me. You can't ever be me. You will never be anything like me. And you really need to STOP imitating me. I'm trying to not give a fuck the way you say you don't but it's so brutally apparent you do. If you blocked me and all my friends then why are you still putting "Feel free to hate" on every single picture? Who are you even talking to when you post all those stupid textgrams if they aren't for me? I mean damn do you really just have that many haters?? Fuck bitch take an etiquette class or something. And who is Xandro? Is that your ex? Sounds to me like he still wants a piece of that Wallpaper. Does Tonto know about him or is that just another one of the many topics yall avoid. Like how you fucked your own cousin's dude which just happens to be your current bf's little brother? How can you even think to walk in that house with your head up? You fucked both brothers, all of their friends, their dealers and that random guy that walked out of the jail when you went to pick up Tonto from jail and he was like "Oh yea I remember you..I fucked you. And my friend did too." lol. Now that shit had me rollin. How you just gna be sitting at the courthouse waiting for your dude to get released and meanwhile a random nigga getting released sees you (of all places) and shouts to the World he fucked you. What kind of a woman are you? Really? Are you even a woman?? Every person I've heard talk about you says you sound like a man. Man. That must suck. Do you speak during sex? lol Ewww that is so disgusting. I always had a feeling my Baby dad was either bi or gay anyway. So I guess it just proves I was right because you are just so manly. Hmm. What else?? Oh yea. "Houstonian" No bitch the term Houstonian does not mean you are from H-Town. It means you live here which clearly you don't. Stop it. Oh and I'll slap the shit out of you if I ever see you for repping My Houston Texans on that other ugly bitches page then turning around and repping Falcons on yours. Hypocrita!!!! You can like other teams sure. It's football but to fake it for face is just sad. Comb that little girl's hair and put her on some matching outfits. His parents don't like you. They pretend because they love their son. You are not balling neither so stop talking all that mess and your dude owes Child Support $2,445.83 and has 5 other kids he's not even paying child support on and still doesn't break them off. Do you even work?? When I was with that fucker I paid off over $6,000 in debt for his sorry ass. And I was paying his child support too. So um can you step the fuck up or something if you want to be with him so bad? Yall steady going here and there and staying in Hotels and shit. Bitch can I get paid?? How do you live with yourself knowing every time he swipes that plastic your are eating and spending my kids' money? But it's ok though. I know I talk a lot of shit about the money but it's really not even that big of deal. The state of Texas is looking for him. He might even be locked up before they find him. If I were you I'd help him out or you will lose him. I did. I didn't know it was possible to hate someone so much without ever even meeting them. I know you hate me because YOU make it obvi. And I know you think I hate you but you are mistaking 10 yrs of pent up anger towards my baby dad as hatred against you. Honey I have no time to hate you. I just feel really really sorry for you because I know what kind of person he is and how mean he can be. I know you've gotten a taste of his asshole when he left you to move here the 1st time. Why you think he's some great catch? Will remain a mystery to me. This is just a taste of my wrath. I have to get back to work because I am a productive member of society. But I'll thoroughly break it down for you next time. You mess with a wild bitch you'll get bit. Haters you can KILL yo self!!!

I lied..

Um yea. So I was going to try and stop writing so much negative shit but it seems like the negative is all I got right now so yall keep looking. Obviously it's enjoyable to see how much pain and heartache I've been through. The happy shit isn't as interesting I guess. The funniest part about this blog is that ALMOST everyone who reads it hates me in some form or fashion. Oh well. What do they say? Bad publicity is better than no publicity at all. So I suppose a thanks is in order for my "fans". Grab some popcorn, a brew and take a seat in the stands. Your hateful thoughts and negativity are fueling the fuck out of my fire. I hope you all enjoy this next one. I'm done explaining myself for now. Now I just want to write and get all this hate out of my poor little wounded heart. Get comfortable and buckle in. It's going to be a looong and super bumpy ride to the end.

Filthy Rich

SPM Filthy Rich

It's the same ol' shit in the same ass place my studio smells like ten ash trays my nigga still gettin' too fucked up And I'm still smokin' too much blunts Haters always gon' run they mouth And keep tryin' to take me out Mama always gonna worry herself And me I can't forget the pain I felt Even though I drive a new 6 double 0 They be thinkin' like "What is Los frontin' for?" I bought a club and they filled up with envy Now every body pissed cuz they can't get in free New enemies still poppin' up Throw away gats still chop 'em up I walk in and the whole club stands still More money more problems that's real
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
My little baby-girl just turned 6 I gave her the biggest room in my crib she gets what she wants so does her mama I don't think they know the value of a dollar fine-ass bitches all in my limosine I just wish I was jumpin' on my trampoline But my babies I miss my children To me that's worth more than trillions and trillions She calls me "Fat-boy" says I'm "loco" And she doesn't understand when I gotta go Hope she doesn't think I don't wanna be wit her Hope she knows that it hurts not to be wit her Hope she knows that wit her I'm the happiest I can't make it to her piano practices When I was young my ol' man left us And I pray dat she won't be like I was
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
Playa hataz wanna play me close Do you really wanna meet Carlos? Do you really wanna feel my wrath? Mad cuz your bitch want my aut-o-graph Nigga I don't wanna fuck yo' hoe But I'll let her suck my dick and lick my ass-hole (ha-hah) Started out with a silly game of footsie Now I got her eatin' out her best friends pussy Rollin' hydro sippin' on Chris When I was broke I would dream about this Get my back rubbed in a big bath tub I don't know her name but she's showin mad love I got 7 G's sittin' in my pants And my jewlry is underneath those lamps I'm gettin' sleepy all you hoes gotta bail Once again I'm in the bed by myself All alone in another city I get my bill the Chris was 9.50 2 G's for them bottles of Don P It was just me and the hoes was free
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
This is what an ol' G told me filthy rich and dyin' lonely "Fuck a benz and fuck a rolly, life is what you make it, homie."
Yeah, fuck a benz, fuck a rolly, family comes first, and I'm alone, Ye-e-e-eah. This is what an ol' G told me, He died lonely...