My Daddy

Daddy I'm hurting. I need you here instead of in heaven. My heart is breaking and you have the super glue. My tears are all over the floor and you have the mop. The answers to my questions are in the book on the top shelf and you are my stool. I can't see from all the fog and you are my headlights in the dead of the night. I'm scared, afraid of the darkness, terrified to reach out in front of me and you are the light switch I cannot find. You have all of the answers to my problems locked behind your beautiful blue eyes and the key is in heaven. What do I have to do to die and go to heaven, retrieve the key to my problems and return home safe again? How can a boulder be swept away so effortlessly by the ocean? How can a brick house be blown down by nothing more than the wind and rain? How can a helpless child be stripped of a parent? This world is so hard and full of evil. How is any one person supposed to survive the turmoil that is inevitable from this life? I sit here sobbing to myself asking you Lord of all the dirty, nasty, undeserving, evil people in this world could you, would you take my daddy away from me? This pain in my heart isn't replaceable, erasable, mendable, situational nor circumstantial. It is real, concrete. I am suffering through this pain that up to my knowledge will never subside, hasn't died in the slightest, is permanent. So what now God? How many prayers will I have uttered and how many people will I have assisted and watched succeed before my name is called? I am sick of being everyone's door holder. I'm tired. I'm weak, ready to fall. Out of pure selfishness and hate for what your beautiful creation has become I ask you to take me Lord. Take me away from this pain and reunite me with my rock. Not a single soul walking among us can help me now and I am terrified that I can no longer hold myself up. I need the super glue you use in heaven to mend the broken pieces of my heart. I need the mop you keep in heaven's closet to clean the mess my tears have made on the floor. I need my stool that now sits in heaven's library so I can begin to reach the top shelf again. I need my headlights so I don't crash from the fog in the middle of the night. I need to find the light switch so I can come out of the dark and release my fears. I need the key. I need support and strength from the boulder you swept into the relentless ocean. I am searching for sturdier supports so my house is not blown away by just the wind and rain. I need my daddy. Please Lord give him back? Daddy, please find me, I am lost.