OUCH!!!

Have you ever ripped the bandages off of a fresh wound? Exposing the delicate, fragile wounded flesh beneath? Pain on top of pain. Is it physical or is it really just radiating from the brain? Have you ever gazed into your own reflection in a mirror and said to yourself, "I'm staring straight into the eyes of a stranger."? Have you ever fallen down so hard you felt the weight of the entire world bearing down on you? No hope of ever getting up. Some pain you never recover from. Even after the scabs dry up and fall off and the scars fade you can still feel the excruciating pain. Blood stains wash away but mental images remain and will never completely go away. Hook up a morphine drip directly to my sub-conscience. Dull the piercing pain long enough for me to feel normal again or at least to make me numb. The side effects from this accident are for life. The drugs aren't what I've become dependent on, they aren't what I'm addicted to, it's the pain. Sought out like a seeking missile. Nothing can ever just be straight. Every move I make is wrong. I have forgotten every lyric to every song. I've stepped on every bear trap on the ground. I've lost my equilibrium. I can't tell which way is up. I lost sight of the North star. I'm wandering around in the dark. It feels like being slammed into by a Mack truck. Way worse than any bad luck. If being stabbed is painful then I'd call this feeling being sliced in half. Guts spilling all over the floor. Left my leaking organs bleeding at the door, I'm tired of carrying the dead weight, what do I need them for? How much pain is too much? Can I handle anymore? If internal injuries are fatal I should've been dead and gone by now. Have you ever loved so hard it hurt? It's that welling up feeling in your throat. Have you ever cut yourself but instead of rushing to cover up you just paused and watched the blood seep out? The body is way more resilient than the mind. Have you ever put yourself in danger? Would you trust your life to a stranger? If you're sick, how do you become well? When you fall ill, how do you nurse yourself back to health? When you're all alone who do you ask for help? I'm dying right in front of my own eyes. Watching my soul drift up toward the clouds. Laying on the floor lifeless in silence listening to my spirit drown. Nothing but cold dead breath coming from my chest now. I guess I'll live in this dead purple skin once again. I feel nothing but pain. This has to be worse than death itself. To still be alive but know that life will never be the same again. Like a zombie fending for brains. I'm afraid I've killed whatever chance I had to be capable of love ever again. My heart won't beat. My blood stopped pumping. My life is over is what this feels like. I've accepted my fate; eternal pain. Never ending, mind numbing hurt. I can feel it welling up in my throat. The tears are all used up. The only dripping is from the sweat on the outside of my cup. I have officially given up. Y'all can have that Bitch called Love. She has diced me all the way up. Love is a trick. Happiness is a joke. Nothing is this World is pure anymore. Honesty is dead. No faith. No hope. No love. No yoke. The only real thing I recognize anymore is blunt force trauma to the heart. Hurt. Pain. Ouch.