Pain
I fought so hard. I cried. Got on my knees and even begged. I cut ALL ties without planning on ever looking back. I laid on my back and let him take me back. Now a mother for the 5th time I realize how bad he hurts me. Nothing has changed and I fought so hard for what? Why would anyone be with someone they doubtedly loved? I surrendered myself, my heart and all of my focus on him, to our love once again. And for what? Now I'm back at square one with all of this pain once again? All the pain that I had already let go? All the pain that I killed and buried in Atlanta's red dirt. But it came back from the dead and landed right back in my head. All of the past has been dug up and thrown in my lap. Again. I have to sort through all of this hurt one more time. Why, when you knew he never loved you and gave his whole self to others, would you ever give your already delicate heart back to him again??? Now it is broken beyond repair and sits exhausted in your chest barely able to keep you alive. Do you think you will ever be able to give it away again now? After all of the pain that it's undergone. Even if you're willing to give it away again no one will ever be able to mend the wounds and make it whole. He stole your heart, your happiness and your life. On top of that he gave you 5 more hearts you have to make sure don't break. I wish there were someone else to blame but it's all your fault. You knew the pain he was capable of inflicting on you, yet you let him back in anyway. You deserve everything that is happening to you.
Sincerely, Stupid
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