You and I

You and me could never be. What we think we had was all a dream. A reality existing only in our minds. Besides putting in the time all we ever got was hurt and lies. No one can ever understand why. Why would two people ever put each other through so much shit? How could we have stayed in such a toxic relationship? Our Love turned into our punishment. You hurt me because you say I hurt you but til this day you've never explained to me what I did to you. Sometimes the past is a pond where the truth can be fished out but the pond we know has dried up into mud and dust. Now we could never go back and fish out any truths because they've been diluted and dissolved into the Earth's crust. Any honesty we ever displayed is trapped somewhere on a dusty page in a closed book sitting somewhere on a shelf. I have no desire to read through the history books now. I passed that class and have no reason to look back and brush up on the shit that didn't teach me anything but resentment. I don't hate you but I hate things you said and the things you did. I've accepted that I'll never have the answers to burning questions that I have. All I can do now is sit around the inferno and roast marsh mellows and make s'mores out of the memories we left to burn. I have no regrets besides not leaving sooner. I don't want to believe we knew things would end this way but I think we both did. You had yours on the side the whole time while all I ever wanted was for you to be all mine. I'm sorry if you feel I ruined your life. There was no hope for you and I because there was never a You to begin with. Til this very day you still don't know who you are and that bothers me. It makes me sad to think that the beauty I saw within you was fake and all you ever did was take me for granted. All those times I thought you were tearing me down, you were just questioning your own motives. I tried loving you so hard when you were just looking for someone else. You have your point of view and I have mine. I know now that we'll never see eye to eye. Guess that's why there could never be a You and I. We never even attempted putting the two together. You were always too busy living for today and I was stuck in building tomorrow. Like a defective Libra scale we could never balance each other out. Instead of looking in the mirror we were busy pointing fingers. Instead of attempting to make things better we only ever made them worse. We turned forever into never and gave up hope anytime things got rough. I don't deny how badly I've hurt you but I can say I'm sorry. Until the day comes when you can realize how badly you hurt me, you'll never be able to give me the apology I deserve from you. When the day finally comes it will probably be too late. I don't love you like I used to and no longer have patience to wait. I'm beginning to think you never ever loved me the way you claim and instead used me to get your way. If you had loved me right and gave me all of you maybe we could've ended this on a different foot. Now all we have to give each other is goodbye and accept that there could've never been a You and I.