45 Days Away

I can't describe to you all how I feel tonight. My eyes well with tears of desire, my chest burns with flames of passion and my lips thirst for a drink of his presence. I need visual confirmation, I've been chasing a mirage. I'm walking strong but I'm afraid I'm lost. I woke up from a night mare where you weren't there until I fell back asleep because life is all one big dream. I wake up in a dream and fall asleep into peace. I can't breathe because of the weight I'm bearing on my chest. It's wrapping me up like a killer constrictor, squeezing tighter and tighter. It's indescribable the way I'm feelin tonight folks. I'm feelin choked, strangled, searching for the shattered pieces of my mangled heart. He told me the past wasn't an issue if I could hand him my heart new. I'm scrambling at this point pushed to my brink because I think of how much I'm willing to sacrifice for this. I'm twice removed from my roots, now they want me in snow boots. I'm talkin below degrees, ice cycled trees and wobbly knees. I want so badly to ask why life is doing this to me. The better question is am I ready? This is the biggest change I will have to make, the biggest risk I will have to take, the hardest decision I will make. I don't even like cake so I'll bake some fudgge brownies instead, pack up my things and go I guess. I'm going to the farthest place in the World. The North Pole. Time to explore a new place I've never been before. Time to partake in a brand new adventure. I'm scared, excited, anxious, suspicious but that doesn't come close to describing what I'm feeling tonight friends. It's bigger than me, bigger than him, bigger than us; it's beyond this World. I'm untold. I'm made pure. My slates been wiped clean. Now I can see. My tears have been dried. My worries have met their demise. I am pleasantly surprised to be undertaking the adventure of my life. I promise to dance and sing and hug and kiss and love and thank and live in an unimaginable bliss. I believe it's all God's gift. My beautiful life that I live. I love you Jesus Reyes. See you very soon. 45 days away from right now we'll be under the same moon. I love you. XOXO.