RIP Monetary Freedom

I can't breathe holding my breath for you. I'm over worked waiting for you. I'm under paid. Not getting laid. Can't get a head. No head. No shame. No proper source to blame. Shit didn't work out. Nothing was ever spoken aloud. Upside down frowns. Clowns. Drowning in your own sorrow. No thanks for another tomorrow. Drowning in a sea of despair. No fresh air. No care. No motive. No goal. No other end of the tunnel. Just sliding down this slippery ass funnel. As funny as it sounds. You said, I won't let you drown. Now I'm six feet underground. Now you want to talk about concerns. Now you want the right to your turn. Now you might be feelin the burn. All the while my ashes have been in the urn. You're over worked. Under paid. Not getting ahead. Can't wash the dirt from your hands. You bleed for your right to earn a life. You yearn for the life you wish you had. A life you have yet to realize you've always had. You passed it by. You never stopped to look up. You can't praise yourself anymore. No more cleaning out junk drawers. The time has come and passed. There is no looking back. There is no second chance. There is no warm embrace, one last glance. No last dance. All of the walls are caving. Time is a wasting. All options are the end. Every choice is a whim. Shark infested water at your feet, take a swim. Life bites hard. Will you bite back? Do you boast the will to fight back? Fight or flight? Are you about to attack? It feels a lot like combat. Tit for Tat. No regards for another way. No appreciation for another day. There is no way. You have no say. No place. No common ground. No room for compromise. No end to a war. There have been no useful ideas to a resolution. No exquisite solutions. We still haven't talked it out. Never flattened out the wrinkles. No time committed to working all the kinks out. So please don't come at me with your supposed deserved pity. Don't ask me for a single thing. I won't tolerate you any longer with your proposed allowances and pent up anger. There is no entitlement here. Responsibility can be an ownership or a fear. It's clear we choose our own routes. I'll always have my doubts about the future. I don't know what it is you have to tell me but I know it won't be healthy. I have this pit inside of my stomach, its hard to swallow. My hands are clammy, my breath is shallow. My heart feels like its beating slower. I can't withstand very much more pressure. My body is sore. My mind is fried. Without my faith I wouldn't be alive. I wouldn't survive a beating like this. I simply couldn't handle any of it. This ride has spun way out of control. I'm losing my grip. I don't know whether to let go or keep hold. I'm worn out from making so many choices. I'm sleepy. Beginning to lose focus. I'm wide open. I just know I'm at the edge of defeat. Like hanging over the side of a volcano, feeling that rush of heat. Its way too much to bear. I can't hold this empire up forever on my own. I can't keep catching stones. You will never see the other side of things. You're stuck on the high road with your head in the clouds and can't get back down to reality. Responsibility. Priority. Seniority. Accountability. All you focus on is your pain, your gain and your functionality. It will be hard for you to ever understand because you can't see from where you stand. You don't have anything figured out. You've never had a plan mapped out. You don't know how to compartmentalize. You have no idea how to get to where you want to be. You can't see how your decisions affect anybody. I am not looking forward to anything you have to say. I won't change the way I feel and I won't change the way I think. If ever there were a debt unpaid, the account would be under your name. The amount will forever remain unpaid. The interest will never wane. The balance will always be negative. Negativity is where you live. No way to breathe. No where to run. No outlet. No fun. Frigid waters at your feet, dive in head first, take a swim. I've heard there are treasures at the bottom of the sea. My mind is racing with possibilities. One way or another I'll be paid for all of my troubles. I will have justice for my struggles. I will be recognized for my efforts. My obstacles will be overcome. My empire will have been won. I will again be in control. I will not surrender my soul. With my faith I am made whole. I can't get myself out this hole alone and I won't let you push me back down anymore. I'm sure of what I'm fighting for. I know how to get to where I want to be. I have my goals clearly set in front of me. I won't go down without a fight. I won't back down from what I believe. I won't let you wrong my right. I won't let you taint my truth. I won't let you darken my light. I am finished with giving you anymore slack. I'm over holding my breath for things to change but my blue skin has reminded me how to breathe again. I am alive in him. I invite you to board the ship.