Unjumble my Jumble

I can't collect my thoughts lately, they're all scattered and flying around my head crazy. My jumble hasn't been this jumbled yet. There is so much going on it's hard to focus on one thing. If thinking was a juggling act my thoughts would be the balls. I can't give any one thing my full attention at all. I'm distracted. I'm clumsy. I'm anxious. Counting down minutes on the clock wishin they could speed up. Usually so well spoken I'm stumbling over my words like a toddler over blocks. I can't put a finger on how I feel but I know It's not fear. I feel like a small child waiting in line to take a swing at the pinata. I just want my turn to be blindfolded, spun around and let loose to give it my best shot. My nerves are shot. I probably need a shot. I can't say that if I swung right now I'd hit my mark. Feels like I'd be swinging in the dark. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm sleepy. I need someone who actually wants to help me. Where is he at? When is he coming back? Will my thoughts have all dropped out of my head and been scattered on the ground by the time he comes around? If waiting were a game I would have already taken 1st place. I'm tired of playing this waiting game. I'm a retired player. Have prayed countless prayers. My knight in shining armor is right around the corner. He has to gas up and refuel first. Once he shows up there won't be any more wanting to give up. He will be next to me to help fix things when they get messed up. I won't have to take care of everything alone anymore. I will finally have a partner worth fighting for. A man who will love me for me and build a life with me happily. One who won't run when things get tough. One who is strong enough to handle my love. One day we will sit together and I will let him sift through my junk. He can rewire my entire head and finally put all my jumble to rest.