You couldn't possibly understand

My life. 

You couldn't possibly understand my life. I wouldn't expect anyone to. The things I've been through and the reasons behind why I am the way I am are all stones buried beneath the sand of time in the hourglass that is my life. I have loved. I have lost. I have given in. I have fought. I have burned. I have been burned. I still reach for the flames. Something in my nature won't allow me to tame my wild heart. It sings aloud in tune with my spirit, sometimes much too loud for me to listen to my own thoughts. I have never walked in the path of another and you have never worn my shoes. I play to win and often lose. I have survived the blues. I have been so sad for so long I recognize true happiness in it's true form. I crave to play on someone's mind, sleep in their heart, and live in their eyes; for all time. No one yearns to be alone for the rest of their lives. I want to belong to someone so they will want to be mine. Wanting gets tired. Understanding certain things in life is not required. I have my story and you have yours. I don't know why things have turned out this way for us. No one does. I don't know when I will get what I want. I don't know that if I did I would be satisfied with it. Life is constantly changing, arranging, and rearranging. What I think I want today will not be the same when I am 38. I have been lost. I have been found. I am impatient. I hate waiting. I have been told I can change that but I don't foresee it happening. I have talked. I have listened. I have taught. I have learned many lessons. I know Jesus. I know God. I know the holy spirit dwells within us. I want to know more about one person out of about 7 billion. I want to understand why I love him so very much. I wish I knew how to make it stop. I have messed up. I have failed. I have triumphed. I have prevailed. I have stumbled. I have fallen. I have overcome. I have knowledge. I want to share. I hope he knows how much I still care. I don't wonder if he thinks of me anymore. I know. You couldn't possibly feel the things I have felt. You will never know them like I do. You couldn't possibly live in my shoes. You will never experience the relationships I've had. You couldn't make him feel the way I did, even if you tried. You could never survive what I've been through. You couldn't make it through one minute of my life. You couldn't possibly understand what goes on in my mind. It is my jumbled mess, so get your own. I understand that I am me. You are on your own.