Time to Move

I can't get a tight enough grip. Just when I think my foothold is sturdy I slip. Life is one helluva trip. It's a wonder how we put up with it. All of the ups and downs and knock me to the grounds. Every time I get up someone knocks me out. Lights out! I can't catch my breath long enough to get my balance. It's like running a race I'll never finish. When does it end? All I see around me all the time is sin. Sin in the world. Sin in my friends. Sin in my soul. Sin in my kids. Jesus please come, make it all end. Everyone I know is suffering. It's painful to watch everyone you love hurt so much. I pray for us but when I wake up it seems to only get worse. What is my calling, my purpose? Someone is dying. Someone is sick. Someone is crying. Someone is calling for help. People are hungry. People are mad. People are desperate. It's all bad. The drugs. The crime. The death. The bloodshed. The filth that we live in is disgusting. Those who do good and follow your word are far outnumbered. Tell me what I can do to help? Show me the best route? Time is running out. I've lost too many loved ones, too many friends. With each passing day, someone's life ends. My days are numbered and falling like petals of a flower. The minutes are counting down on the clock by the hour. As much as I'd like to think I'm in control, I know you have total power. Lord take the reigns of our lives and bring us to a halt. You hold each one of my teardrops in your hands like grains of salt. I wish I could crawl up into your lap, snuggle close to your neck, close my eyes, and take a nap. There has to be a better way Jesus. I'm pleading for you to show us the way. When reading the bible, going to church, praying every day, fellowship, and loving everyone no longer works. Where do we turn? Most days I just want to give up. I love you but is it enough? I'm not doing anything to make things change. I don't think I'm big enough to stop the hate. My voice alone makes no difference on the other side of the World. I can't save those I love the most. I don't even know where to start. I want to share what's on my heart but I'm afraid I don't know how. I want to be able to overcome sin but it's all around. I feel helpless Jesus, I need you now.  

Dearest Words

I miss you like the best friend who moved away. I still think about you every single day. I feel like we hardly speak anymore. I haven't heard from you in a while. How have you been? It makes me sad that we're not as close as we once were. It's like I don't seek you any longer and you no longer seek me. What happened to us Love? When did we grow apart? I've always thought of you as my first true love. You're an integral part of my heart. If my life were a pie, you'd be the warm, delicious, gooey filling inside. Some days I feel like I need you to survive. I get so lonely without you around. The love we share is profound. I guess I just assumed what we have is different. You've been there for me when every one else couldn't. You've always been able to cheer me up, pull me out of the funk. I love you so much. I don't think you understand. You were always there to pick me up, take me by the hand. You've always allowed me to express myself better than I ever knew I could. You taught me to be honest with how I truly feel and sometimes that's a hard thing to do. You gave me confidence to stand for I what I believe. You were a catalyst that inspired me. You showed me real trust. I guess I just miss us. We'd spend hours together, some days from dawn until dusk. I can talk to you better than anyone else. You let me be my true self without any judgement. You've always been consistent. When I needed you, you were always there to listen. Because of you, I was able to get through the toughest times of my life. Like when I got pregnant at 17. All of the countless times I dealt with him cheating. The night Daddy ended up leaving. Suicidal thoughts and notes. Growing up too fast. Facing the past. Even when I probably deserved it, you never turned your back. You've been with me through it all and experienced every bad decision by my side. You've never taken me for granted. You never expected anything in return. You were the aloe vera when I'd get burned. You always waited patiently for your turn. You never retaliated when I'd strike. You provided me a mirror when I needed to reflect. You handed me binoculars when I needed to look ahead. You were the tunnel I could travel through when I wanted to revisit the past. I love you, my dearest words. Please come back.