Friday, August 2, 2013

Chained to Free (2009)

This is a blog I wrote back in 2009. It didn't make my book but here it is. Enjoy!!



I'm an idiot, my head's in a fog. My thoughts scatter so quickly in every direction I can't catch them all. I need to get it together. When I thought I had it together. I'm confused. I can't follow everyone's advice but I can't even listen to my own. Why is it when I convince myself of anything, I can't change my mind quick enough? I know I've put myself here, so why now do I wish I were standing over there? I just want to call him. What harm would it do? I hate that my mind and my heart are confused. But I'm not confused, I did what I did and said what I've said because it was exactly what was floating around in my head. So how can I feel this way? What is my problem? We got problems. Why can't I just figure out the equation and find the right way to solve them? I think I may be in denial. Or maybe I am just crazy. I miss speaking to him daily. How can I possibly miss him after I so harshly dissed him? Jesus Lord I can't take this anymore. I need a break from me! That part is dead, I guess I just needed to clear my head. But I've been Chained to Free so unexpectedly.

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