It doesn't matter what I've done or where I've been. What matters is I've found a means to an end. I waded through muck and mess until I had not a drop of energy left. I took my last step then couldn't take one more so I gave in to defeat, accepted my fate and began to sink. Just before my eyelids were submerged before I took my last breath here on earth, when I thought all hope was lost a helping hand reached down and pulled me up. My life was drenched in nothingness, my heart was ripe and delicate inside my pruned chest, my purpose was rung out like a sponge and with the weight of the water my world weighed a ton. Whoever it was who pulled me out must have had super human strength and special powers. I was so exhausted and worn out that I couldn't make heads or tails of how I made it out. It took me a while to get my bearings back. I had to start all over from scratch. My prior life was laying at the bottom of the sea along with all the rest of me. There is nothing worse than losing it all, leaving your life behind and being forced to rebuild it all. I finally regained my strength and was able to take a few paces. I hadn't made it very far when along came a speeding car and as I turned to flag it down, it swerved, hit me and flung me to the ground. As I watched the red brake lights fade into the dark I felt the warm blood dripping from my broken parts. I laid there on the cold pavement and again I felt my fate creeping in. I closed my blood soaked eyelids and knew that this had to be the end. Just as I began to take my last breath here on earth the dirt began to tremble around me and I was lifted from the earth. I couldn't see, I was unable to hear, I couldn't understand where I was or how I had gotten there but somehow all at once I was safe, warm and all bandaged up. I had once again survived the worst and I was once again recovering from all the damage and hurt. This time it took me longer to regain my strength before I was able to begin to move again. This time when I was ready to take off I was frightened and afraid and my confidence and stability had waned. This time I decided to drive instead of walk so I packed up all my junk and shoved off. Into oblivion I ventured once more unaware of the dangers that lurked ahead. The sun had begun to set on the life I left behind and I drove for miles and miles that night. I drove until I couldn't drive anymore. As the exhaustion set in I thought it best to stop somewhere and settle in so I found a quiet spot and pulled off. As I slept I had an amazing dream that where I was going I'd be safe and I'd finally be free. I was sound asleep until the smell of smoke woke me suddenly from my peace. My scorched eyelids opened up to a room full of smoke and flames. I felt my skin beginning to singe. The smoke was so thick I had to keep my eyes closed as I began to move around and search frantically for a way out. I knew I had already suffered severe burns because I could feel the pain surge. But still I knew I had to get out so I fell to the floor and began to crawl about. I had already inhaled so much smoke that I was coughing and choking and began screaming for help. I knew I was lost and because I had been here before I just stopped, closed my eyes and began praying to the Lord. Once again my fate was at my feet and with my lungs full of smoke I inhaled deep what I felt would be my last breath here on earth. How many times can one person cheat death? What could save me from this fiery grave? Where now was the helping hand that pulled me out of the muck, where was the mysterious source that lifted me from the dirt? How was I ever going to survive this, being burned alive? As a single tear left my eye I almost felt a sense of relief. I just wanted God to come and take me already. I had given up on any hope that I would ever open my eyes to another ray of light. Then a loud noise interrupted my serenity and all at once I felt many hands among my badly burned body. I couldn't believe what was happening to me, I was being rescued from this fire that I was positive was consuming me in my entirety. How could this possibly be? Who were these angels on either side of me? I must have blacked out because I woke up near a window where I could see a sky full of puffy white clouds. The burns I had suffered were bandaged up now and I realized that I made it out. I took a deep breath in and this time I was confident it wouldn't be my last. I recovered once again and was determined to make it safely to the end. I didn't know exactly where that was or how I could get there now but after escaping death so many times I felt empowered. I was no longer weak, I was no longer afraid. My scars were a reminder of my fate. God was with me through all of my pain, he never left my side for one second. My faith had been renewed. My life was rinsed cleaned, I had been shaken to my core and the fire burned through my body down to my pained soul. There was nothing left but a clean slate. God took me through the worst in order to prepare me for my best. I walked out on my own two feet a brand new me. Even when I was ready to give up, God knew that I would escape death and had not yet taken my last breath here on earth.
All Glory be to God, all of my days.
Thank you God for saving me, a sinner, through all of Jesus' pain.
I have been washed clean, I am saved, I am free.
I have died to the flesh and have the holy spirit in me.
God will protect you. God will never leave you. God loves you.
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