Ten to One

We've all heard or have used the term, "the one" before. Well I don't personally believe that is a thing. There are entirely too many human beings on this Planet Earth of all ages and cultures for every single man and woman to be predetermined to end up with another specified single man or woman. Not to mention the in-betweeners of which I will not delve. I've had my fair share of attractions over the span of the last 15 years and I am still single. I've yet to be found and have yet to find one man who matches my urge to not be single anymore. My friend and I were having a conversation about relationships and she kept using the term, "the one". I paused her and asked if we could discuss this term in depth because I am extremely curious to know why people actually believe in "the one". My theory is this, instead of there being one person for every one there are more likely at the very least ten people who could potentially be "the one". To further explain my theory and cushion the blow of significant break-ups in a persons' life I came up with "the ten". I hear people all of the time say things like, "What if he/she was the one?" and "What if the one has already come into my life and I didn't know it was them?" or post break-up say, "He/she was the one." All valid feelings but all very depressing thoughts to wrap one's mind around. We've all had these same thoughts at one point or another and if you haven't then you're the exception to the rule I can assure you. It makes more sense to me that more than one person could make me happy and fall in a long lasting, forever type love with me. I refuse to live out the rest of my days feeling like I failed at finding "the one" when I know for certain I can love and be loved. Putting all of the pressure on one person when there are so many people seems very close minded. I personally want another shot at love so I will trust that in this World there are at least 10 men who would be happy to call me "the one" and vice-versa. I believe that for everyone and that makes our odds so much better. Don't you think? Love is already such a complex and perplexing emotion but for some reason we as humans like to complicate an already complicating ideal with ideas such as "the one". Why put yourself through that? This is when I thought to myself instead of allowing one person to ruin the perfect image of a lifelong love, relationship, or soul mate to have and hold forever and ever why not open up the slots of opportunity? This theory of possibly having ten matches wandering the World in search of my heart as opposed to just one is so much more acceptable. I have met and been in relationships with men who I thought were "the one" and those relationships crashed and burned. Am I supposed to just live with the fact that my one has come and gone or can't I still have hope that he is still out there just as lost and lonely as I am? I prefer the latter. I wouldn't consider myself to be an optimist however in matters dealing with love and the heart and "the one" or in my case "the ten", I prefer the cup half full. Now some of you may have jumped ahead of yourselves and asked the pertinent and perhaps obvious question; "What if you go through only 5 people and number 6 turns out to be "the one"?" What happens to the other 4 right? Wrong. If every one person has ten potential matches then my previous 5 and unknown 4 have only eliminated 1. See? In my World there is no such thing as "the one". 2 of my 10 are currently with their matches or are still searching. I have 8 more chances to find a life long love. I believe he's still out there. At least now I have better odds of actually finding him as he does finding me. Obviously this is just my personal theory and opinion of "the one". No one has to agree, adopt my point of view or even humor me in the slightest. I just wanted to share my outlook on "the one" because of the conversation my friend and I had. We both left with a little more hope because we've both been heart broken and both feel like we've loved and lost our ones. I am positive she and I aren't the only people in the World to feel that way. Love hurts. It can be bitter and leave you broken, wounded and scarred for life but it is also the most coveted possession and can be absolutely beautiful, amazing and, well worth the wait. Who doesn't want to find love? Love takes patience and above all honesty. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it just doesn't. Don't hold onto something or someone that isn't right. You could potentially be robbing yourself or someone else of their true mate. Some people may have been lucky to find true love the 1st time and they're the exception. I will say this, if you truly feel like you've been in love 10 times or more and still haven't had luck, just keep pushing the number higher. If 10 chances didn't/doesn't work for you, maybe you need 50 or even 100. My point is to never give up on love. There is someone special out there that will make you happy and love you for you unconditionally. Don't get so wrapped in finding the right one. Love is trial and error sometimes. When it's right it's right. There are far too many beautiful people in this World for you to be crying over "the one". The one only exists if there are many. It takes 2 people to make love work not just one. Obviously once you find someone who fits they become "the one" but what if it doesn't work out? Don't close yourself up to finding someone else who will fit just as good if not better. "The one" is just an idea it's not a real thing. Love is real. Focus on finding "the love" not "the one" because they can always turn into "the 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th". Given the choice of 10 to 1, I choose 10 but in the end I choose love to "the one".