Position of Patience

The best advice I've ever gotten from anyone was to always be in a position of patience for what God has in store for me. Patience has never been my strong suit. I am the most impatient, impulsive person I know and I've openly admitted this before. I know it's a terrible trait to be so impatient but I blame it on my independence. When you learn not to lean on others and become self sufficient it becomes harder and harder to wait for anything that you can do/get for yourself. I don't like to wait for or on anything or anyone. Food, men, friends, rides, money. You name it, I've got to have what I want when I want it which is preferably right now. It's been something I've been working on for quite a long time. Perhaps it's time to change something because my formula obviously is not producing any effective results. Everyone I talk to and tell my problems to always seem to come to the same conclusion so maybe it's time to start listening? "Be Patient", "Have patience", "Good things come to those who wait", "Slow down". It's all the same advice. Advice I've heard but have never put to good use. I'm tired of always coming up short, making terrible decisions then immediately regretting them, missing the point, losing focus of what is important to me. I have asked God repeatedly to help me out but if I'm truly being honest I can say that they've been empty prayers. Have you ever prayed for something because it sounded good or right but in your heart it wasn't what you really wanted? Selfish prayers instead of selfless prayers. Like when you pray that your ex can be truly happy with their new special someone. Or praying for your favorite team to win the Superbowl. It sounds nice but it isn't coming from the right place in your heart or you aren't praying with hope that it will actually come to pass as a result of said prayer. They're just words in the air. No more empty prayers. I am going to sit still for a beat and see if that changes things for me because I am not happy when I thought I would be and rightfully should be. Life is pretty good at present. New car, new job at work which came with a hefty raise, working on debt, going back to school for my Master's, I've gotten my children back, going to the gym regularly and going back to life group and church. I have so many blessings to be grateful for. Something has got to be done and it's all on my shoulders. I am letting go of my fate, my future, my worries, my love life, my finances, my sadness, my health and giving it all to God because it's too much for me to bear anymore. The hardest part of being a Christian besides sharing Jesus' story with others is to have faith that God is completely in control of every aspect of your life and give up the control to him. Trust him with the life he created for you. I have no creative control on God's project for me. I am but a lump of un-sculpted clay ready to be molded into a beautiful work of art. Time is on my side if I relent and give in to God's divine plan for my life so that is exactly what I intend to do. No more chasing the sunrise. More enjoying the sunset.