Lovers Exchange

Him or Me 

Are you confused? In a bind cuz you can't make up your mind which one to choose. You want to keep me and you don't want to lose him. Don't pretend. It is what it is. You want the fun, fast, and wild life but also a husband and kids. You want to have your cake and eat it and you want me to sit there and watch you with a smile on my face. Just waiting for a crumb and only getting a taste. I'm tired of being rejected, neglected, and disrespected. Always giving my all but my all is never enough. Will what I have to offer ever be sufficient? I don't think so. Not as long as I'm in prison. A letter every day, couple calls a week. I strive to maintain this connection still, these efforts won't amount to ten minutes of his affection. I don't want to sell out for second best. I don't want to be the rebound guy who builds you up after you've been torn down only to watch you walk away. I want to have confidence to know that you'll stay. I won't be in this position long. Soon I'll walk out of this prison. But until then make a decision. You can't straddle the fence. I don't want part of you, I want all of you. All or Nothing. I've been patient but my patience has run thin. So tell me. Do you want to be with me or do you want to be with him? 

-Stephen

God's Hands

No, I'm not confused. I may have been at one point but God pulled me through. Before you came along I was in a bind. I desired a life with a man I couldn't have. I wanted to feast on forbidden fruit every day and every night. I won't pretend. I never thought there would be anyone to surpass him. Then again, I never imagined he'd hurt me the way he did. Then you came along. You appeared out of nowhere. A breath of fresh air. You extended your hand and offered to help me out of the sinking sand I was standing in waiting around for him. Of course I want the fast life but doesn't everything come with a price? It's apples and oranges. Some people weren't cut out for marriage. He's one of them. The only cake I want you to watch me eat is the slice we share the night we say our vows. I will watch you as we both smile. I've also been rejected, neglected, and disrespected. Why would I ever go back to that? Why would I choose to gamble on a man who never played an honest hand? It would never work with him because he could never fulfill God's plan. The love he has is for himself. And no, what you have to offer me will never be sufficient. You're right! Neither will I. God will suffice. But you already knew that. What I need from you is to stop comparing yourself to a ghost of my past. Every word of every card and letter, every minute of every phone call, and every time we sit on opposite sides of that wall fills me up more than even a glance from him. Our connection is magnetic. You provide me with all of the things I've never had. How could you be second best when there was never even a first place? Yes, he tore me down. Yes, he had my heart. Yes, at one point I would've given anything for a second chance with him. For a fresh start. Your faith changed all of that. You must know what you and I have. For you to question if I'd ever leave you for him is absurd. I know one day soon you'll be home. I never saw a future with him because God knew he was saving my love for you. God allowed me to see the worst in men because he saved the best for last. So, there is nothing to decide. God chose on which side of the fence he wants me to reside. In the beginning, you had only parts of me. That I can admit. But your love acted as a magnet that collected all of my pieces. With your love God made glue and created a masterpiece just for you. All for you and nothing left for him. Not even a little ink on my skin. I appreciate your impeccable patience with me more than you will ever know. So, if you need to hear it in words, here goes. I choose you with all of my heart, my love, and my soul. I love you more than you will ever know. You're my Burrito! 

-Linds