Monday, October 29, 2018

...and left no friendly drop. To help me after...

I must have sucked all the joy out of the cloud you love so much. I never see you around there anymore. I apologize for ever stepping foot into your life. I don't regret what you brought to mine but I do regret what I took from yours. I can't fix that now. There is no going back to being cool anyhow. All that's left are ashes from the bonfire we lit with stolen matches and furiously stoked once upon a time, not too long ago. I give credit where credit is due but I don't believe you do. I don't miss you, but only miss you with me. It's ok if you don't understand what that means. You're a different person, now I see. We went from strangers to lovers in just one night. Then from lovers back to strangers in the blink of an eye. Part of me died right along with your fake feelings around that time. Never had I cried so hard over someone I never called mine. You were the best mistake I could've made, and so was I. If learning from our mistakes is a thing, I guess we screwed up that opportunity to learn something. By the way, Congratulations on the "new" you. I'm so happy for you. Thanks for inspiring me to let the darkness leak from my fingertips. It doesn't hurt so badly anymore. Perhaps my train wreck will provide a cautionary tale for others to view. I pray the carnage, the blood, and the gore I've exposed will alert people of how badly a person can be hurt by messing around where they don't belong. I'll never ever be the me you met, but neither will you. We will always keep those people locked deep within our hearts, forever. The truth is that whatever we were is just a memory now. If I must admit the truth about you, this is what I'd have to say. Thank you for insisting on driving me home the night I puked even though I didn't let you. Thanks for the shirt. I'll always remember the familiar tap of your fingers on my bedroom window. I'll never forget the view of your car parked in my spot during our 4 am rendezvous. I'll cherish the memory of your face asleep on my pillow case. I'll never regret cooking for you. I'll never regret sleeping in your "sleep number" bed, running my fingers through your hair, or kissing you on your forehead. I'll always remember the way you washed my hair. Thank you for the breakfast you cooked and the care you took. No matter for how long, you made me feel special at the time and I will always have that. It's all just a dream now isn't it. That's how I will choose to remember you, at your best and at mine. You almost had me fooled by the way you made me feel special then but now I know that's not the real you. The real you will forever remain a mystery in my mind. You'll always be just a book I removed from the shelf of my heart's library. I read your brief synopsis then placed you back with everything you are and all that you lack. Your story couldn't hold my attention. Now I am quite disinterested in your ending. Maybe once in a while we can have a drink in my dreams, catch up, and rehash the good times and memories. For now, I say to you my good sir, so long and best wishes on all of your future endeavors. 

Be careful of those whose heart strings you play, and whose mind you enter but do not wish to stay. 

xx 
-Trouble  

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