Flashback Joints 01-02

Joining the Camp

This n****, that n****. Skinny n****s, fat n****s. F*** ya'll n****s! I got my n****s. Houstone Texas is my home and that is where I was born. That is where I come from whether or not I'm there or when I come. So listen up here and lend me your ear, you gotta get a little closer cuz I want you to hear. That THC is my crew, if you f*** with us we'll f***with you. We keepin shit real and spittin shit true. We're gonna catch your bluff and then turn you blue. 

1x: (So) Don't hate n****s, don't hate n****s.
      We'll buck, get crunk, bust some fake n****s.
      Texas made n****s, we don't play n****s. 
      (It's) Texas Hustler's Camp. Get it straight n****s. 

Baby Doll is the name I claim. If you hear me once, you gonna hear me again. I ain't gonna play no f*****' games cuz I'm staying here til I reach my fame. When I got some/my/them ladies all rockin' my game and got all them fellas wantin' to rock my frame. I'm gonna have myself a fat stack of cash that's taller than Shaq and thicker than J. Lo's a$$.

1x: (So) Don't hate n****s, don't hate n****s.
      We'll buck, get crunk, bust some fake n****s.
      Texas made n****s, we don't play n****s. 
      (It's) Texas Hustler's Camp. Get it straight n****s. 

(So) Now ya'll know who the f*** I am and that I roll with Texas Hustler's Camp, ya'll better learn my f****** name and know that I get money and I'll f*** your man. So all my n****s who ain't got no hoes let me see ya grab ya d*** and let a playa know. I'm the baddest chick, know how to run this/my shit. Now let me pass it to my homie on the low-low tip. 

1x: (And) Don't hate n****s, don't hate n****s.
      We'll buck, get crunk, bust some fake n****s.
      Texas made n****s, we don't play n****s. 
      (It's) Texas Hustler's Camp. Get it straight n****s. 

1x: Don't hate n****s, don't hate n****s.
      We'll buck, get crunk, bust some fake n****s.
      Texas made n****s, we don't play n****s. 
      (It's) Texas Hustler's Camp. Get it straight n****s.

That One Kidd

A fine fool from Cali is all I recall. Walkin' wit his homies through my front door. He wore a blue bandana across his forehead to hide his brown eyes that were bloodshot red. I was hooked on his style from the very first glance and I knew that this fella had to give me a chance. "It's been years since I seen you Papi, lets start with a dance and by the end of the night you'll be inside of a trance." 

I drove him back to my suite and fixed him something to eat and while he puffed on his blunt I was massaging his feet. I never could imagine that this fella would see all the years that I've waited just to get me a piece. Cuz he's the type of fella that I should get to know. He smokes the finest dro and f****s the baddest h***s. I said, "You laid back Papi and I like that too. So when you ready to f*** with me, I been ready to f*** with you." 

I started fillin' up my head with thoughts of him in the bed. I'm volunteering up his d*** for some most marvelous h***. I'm on a mission to be licken' til his d***s playin' dead. He's twice as fine now than he was back then. I know I'm gonna get him, I just don't know when. "I hope you ready for me Papi cuz I meant what I said." 

1x: I'll be a rider til I die. 
     I smoke on blunts til I'm high. 
     I'll be the loyal type. 
     I'll stick wit you, stick right by your side.
     Don't nobody know what it means when 
     I tell you that this Kidd stays up in my dreams. 

Loyalty and Temptation

It happened so fast, this one and that. I like that tatt, I liked your frame from the bat. I spoke first then he spoke back. I was busy feelin' lonely and his lips said, "smack". I'll let you get my number and see where it goes. Sure, you can call me but I'll treat you different then dem other h**s. I truly don't give a f*** whether you dig me or not. I was just like, "Hi." and you thought I was hot. I mean, I do like your smile but I don't want to f***. I just want to smoke your w*** and maybe get drunk. For real, it's on you, I'm an open chick. We ain't gonna f*** but I might suck your d***. 

Naw I was just playin' but for real "What's your name?" I'll take down your number, you got pretty good game. I saw you lookin' at my tatts, maybe I'll show you the rest. I'll let ya rub on my booty and grab on my chest. I seen you licken' your lips and battin' your eyes. What the f*** is that? Some kind of disguise? You ain't that sweet n****, no male is. You just wanna f*** ain't tryin' to be up in the biz. 

Yo but that's cool though cuz that's on some real s***. Don't wanna play games just let me hit and that's it. It didn't never go down if I said that it didn't. Betta yet don't say nothing at all cuz I don't plan on quittin'. 

I got other n****s and I know you got your b*****s. That's the way the game is played. Beware of them haters and snitches. A playa is a playa, you either got it in you or you don't. It's only one game and the rules ain't neva gonna change. I follow them strictly, I ain't tryin ta get caught. All these dudes is my teachers and I'm just tryin ta get taught. I'll prolly quit when it's over but for now I ain't through. So now that you know a little bit about me. Let me know what's the deal wit you?
 

Poker Face

I've been having this feeling lately that I'm not allowed to say what I'm really thinking. Not that I believe my opinion has ever made much of a difference. If writing is my way of expressing then why do I feel like I'm hesitating? Why am I procrastinating? Why am I not saying the things I planned on saying? I've been using my job as an excuse that lack of time was the reason why I didn't write. Now, there are no excuses but I can't get back to basics. I can't focus on one main idea long enough for it to turn into something that I can build upon. I'm tired of wasting precious days without moving to the next phase. I have all of the tools and time I need to create the ultimate masterpiece. The only thing that is stopping me now is me. I will be the one thing that prevents me from getting what I am aiming for. I've been here before. I've sat at this very computer thinking of ways to decipher my own future, creating nothing out of thin air, putting down feelings into words I didn't know were there. Now, once again, I sit here with everything to gain and absolutely nothing to lose. So now I have to ask myself, what is stopping you? What stands between you and your goal this time? Which excuse will you use? How will you refuse more opportunities? Will you sit there and wallow in self pity? Will you leave the lock on the floodgates of your inner workings? Why now has it become so hard to put a few feelings into a few words? I've always known the darkness is where my best work derives from. It's not something I'm proud of it's a fact I've learned to accept about my style of writing. So maybe that's what's been bothering me. Am I just too happy to think of anything? I'll admit that I'm happy but that shouldn't be any reason to stop me from writing. The stories I wish to share still exist in the vast libraries of my history and past I'm just not ready to look back. I don't feel like I've come far enough away from the blast yet. I can only work on one thing at a time so I'm going to open up my heart and my mind to the one thing I can't stop thinking about. I'll tell our story 1st since it has the happy ending we've both been dreaming about. Then I'll work my way up from the beginning. I have my work cut out for me and I don't know if I'm full of the feelings or words I'll need to make things happen but I know procrastinating will never find out for me. If you want something done you've got to do it yourself. I need no help in being who I am or thinking of things to write. God gave me this gift and I will let it serve it's purpose. I'm all in. God's got my hand.

I rest my case

I never could have imagined ever feeling this way. Since the day I first saw your face I knew you'd be in my life, I didn't know how nor why. I went from being everything in your life to dead in a matter of just a few words exchanged. Boy isn't it something when your whole life is up in the air? Someone once whispered this advice in my ear, he said to me then, "When your whole life is up in the air, that means you've got to aim high!" and I've not forgotten it since he uttered those genius words into my life. If I knew what I knew now type of reminisce. What's been done is part of the past now and what's been said, well now that will linger on a while, but what's been said has really already been done. There is no more platform under the sun, if wading in the deepest waters won't have you won well then I'm done. I give up trying to please the displeased. There will be no more attempting to build any type of bridge to walk upon. I can no longer formulate plans without your input but I've been over run, put out, tossed to the wayside in a sense. When the direct path is not leading you where you want you've got to figure out some sort of detour that will take you that far. Until then it's useless to continue giving in. I've foregone the instructions on how to forget the countless beatings which have ensued. During this time of self preservation I've neglected to seek salvation and do what I had initially set out to do. Leaving that building naked was the worst thing to do. Instead of using God as my guide and shield I let the devil walk with me and blind me from my primary mission. So I failed. Now I will pick up where God left off and continue on with my mission. I fell hard but I can get back up with conviction. Now I am unstoppable. Now I am uncompromisable. Now I am determined and with force will move through any obstacle. You made a mistake in thinking I would sink when you so violently threw me overboard and drove away watching my fate bob in the water. Now the ghost of my prior falter will come and haunt you and you will have sleepless nights and you will not enjoy the numbered days of the rest of your life and you will constantly have the feeling of defeat deep within the chest you hold out and your soul will constantly cry out and your satisfactions will never be satisfied and you will forever be surrounded by your spawn but will feel nothing but loneliness the rest of your life. Meanwhile, I swam to shore, washed off the dirt. God says I'm pure. So I move on from here with a brand new lease on my life. God has given me another chance to walk right by his side. No more will I allow the devil to walk into my life. I have severed that tie from this day forward and the rest of my God given life. I am new. I am adopted. I belong to the Lord and he gets the last word on where my ship will sink. You my friend will be watching from the depths all of my success. For now I rest my case.

Update 2014

Well, well, well. Evil forces are working hard to destroy me but God will not let me falter. I lost my job of 4 years last week and let me say it is the BEST thing that could've happened and the timing couldn't be any more impeccable. Not having a steady flow of income is a little unnerving but again with God's bright light shining the way I am not afraid. I know God is preparing me for bigger things to come and I am letting Jesus aboard my boat and he will guide us though the storm to the safe shores. I considered moving to Wisconsin to be with Toon but my gut is getting the better of me and I've decided to just stay put. I love Round Rock and the Fellowship way too much to leave. I have undeniable support in my family, friends and church. So, even though I am jobless, I am not faithless. I have the utmost faith in God that he will open an even better door for me than anything MRC could ever offer me and my family. My kids are healthy and happy. I am healthy and capable. With the financial struggles I am facing I will only become stronger once they've been conquered. Toon is coming out in July. The kids will be in Ga and hopefully I can take some time off to be with the love of my life and figure out a plan of action. I know he's going to be a little upset that I'm not relocating to the mid-west but it just makes more sense to stay put and let him join us here in Texas when he's ready and able. I'd rather visit the mid-west than live there anyway. I can't leave Texas, it was hard enough leaving H-town. So right now I'm focused on my Spring Break vacation to Kentucky and then Georgia. It's been 8 years since Toon and I last saw each other and this will be the first time meeting my youngest 3. After visiting him we will stay a week and a half in Ga with my sister in law and will get to spend time with my big brother and my little cousin. I can't wait. We are going to have a blast and best of all I finally get to see my love. I haven't given up yet. It will take a whole helluva lot more to stop me then a little lay off. Life is great. God is so good to me and my family and he will continue to bless me as long as I continue to surrender my life to his glory. I'm good. Never been better. How bout you? ;) XOXO's from your XOXO Supplier. Happy V-Day lovers! Spring Break 2014 here we come! 5 more weeks to go.

Honeymoon Jam

"Turn Your Lights Down Low"
(Bob Marley feat Lauryn Hill)

[Bob Marley (Lauryn)]
(Uh) Turn your lights down low
And pull your window curtain
Oh let the moon come shining in
Into our life again
Saying ooh, it's been a long, long time
(Long, long time)
I got this message for you girl
But it seems I was never on time
Did I wanna get through to you girl?
On time, on time (word)
I want to give you some love
I want to give you some good, good loving
(Uh, uh, right, uh)
Oh I, oh I, oh I
Yeah I want to give you some good, good loving (uh)

[Lauryn]
Turn your lights down low
(Word, word, uh, uh)
Never ever try to resist, oh no
(Na, na, na, na)
Let your love come shining in
(Na, na, na, na)
Into our lives again
(Na, na, na, na)
And ooh, I love you
(I love you, I love you)
And I want you to know right now
(Know right now)
Ooh I love you
(Uh-uh, yeah, uh)
And I want you to know right now (uh)
That I, that I
I wanna give you some love (uh, yeah)
I wanna give you some good, good loving
Oh I, oh I, oh I
I wanna give you some good, good loving (yeah uh-uh)

[Lauryn]
Loving you is a like a song I replay
Every three minutes and thirty seconds of every day (uh, uh)
And every chorus was written for us to recite (right)
Every beautiful melody of devotion every night
It's potion like this ocean that might carry me
In a wave of emotion to ask you to marry me
And every word, every second, and every third
Expresses the happiness more clearly than ever heard (uh)
And when I play them, every chord is a poem
Telling the Lord how grateful I am cause I know him (what? word)
The harmonies possess a sensation similar to your caress (uh)
If you asking then I'm telling you it's yes
Stand in love, take my hand in love, God bless (right)

[Lauryn & Bob]
I want to give you some good, good loving
I want to give you some love
I want to give you some good, good loving
Oh I, oh I, oh I
I wanna give you some good, good loving

[Lauryn (Bob)]
Good, good, good loving
(I wanna give you some good loving)