Not at all

Do you mind that I've lost my mind over time? My sanity sank deep beneath the thick quicksand under my feet. I have died along with any resemblance of our friendship. I simply no longer exist in the realm of your senses. You are but a figment of an imprint on the glass shards of my shattered heart. Countless memories skate seamlessly together with the melodies over my ear drums and inside the caverns of my head. I can't forget, I'm trying to forgive, I want to start all over again or finally come to the end of this story we began. If this is what it feels like to lose you then it makes me wonder what invigorated my life before your great surprise. I'm grateful for the constant pain though because it reminds me that I'm still alive, that I survived the worst of my fate and now I can prepare for the best if it's not too late. Our time together was a test we both failed and when we fell you got up and moved on and I turned into mist and disappeared into the atmosphere with the rising sun. Do you ever feel my presence weighing on your heart? Do flashes of my face haunt you in your dreams? Does my voice interfere with your daily reverie? When you close your eyes can you still see mine? Luke warm tears prick the backs of my eyelids when I think of how much I miss the interaction between us. The comfort of being engulfed in your strong arms, the feeling of your warm chest pressed up against my back, and listening to your steady breath as we peacefully slumbered in the creeping light of the dawn. Your presence created ripples on the surface of my lake of doubt and you poured down cool rain drops onto my joy drought. The blossom of passion and level of comfort that erupted among us was too much, much too quickly and we both drowned in one another and burst the damn that was supposed to keep us apart and my hopes got flooded all the way up to the stars. You took me so high I landed on Mars while you floated back down to Earth without me and never looked back but you didn't think I'd dive into your gravity and get stuck in the vortex you left behind. You pull me in like the funnel of an F5 without any warning and I can't escape my brush with death swept up in your magnificent inexplicable wind tunnel of pure bliss. As quickly as you draw me in you're tossing me back out into the cold, lonely night sky like damaged debris that's good for nothing. I'm rotted from the inside out and there is no use in attempting to rebuild now. You're gone with the setting sun, somewhere far where the horizon meets the ground. I am wandering alone trying to find a place to call home so I can settle down and stop this maniacal hunt that will never result in what either of us wants. As long your feet trace the dirt of the Earth and there is breath in your lungs and beating beneath your impeccable pecs, I will love every hair on your perfectly imperfect head and every millimeter of your delectably pristine skin. I can let go of the physical you because it's what you need me to do but if you want my truth I can't ignore the emotions you've aroused within my soul because they are tethered to your core. So until you stop feeling whatever it is you feel that you attempt so well to hide beneath the surface with your beguiling grin and enchanting eyes, I will be irrevocably stuck in this tailspin. Stuck like a piece of chewed up bubble gum to the bottom of your size 10. Content just to be part of you no matter how minuscule. Call me crazy, it's just me and my jumbled head and if you ever ask me if I need you still I'll lie and say, "No, not at all." When I fell for you I never landed. Instead I am stranded on a sand dune in between leaving and loving you.       

Unicorns

In a World full of black stallions and bay mares it's only fair to find yourself an opal unicorn. An enigmatic creature mysterious in nature. A being who speaks frost into the atmosphere whose stare is steam in the air. There is no telling where the beginning ends or where the ending begins. You're left speechless in the wake of their star encrusted kisses and overtaken by their radiating energy equal to that of the sun. You get lost in the black hole of their soul and lose gravity in the moonlight of their multi-faceted eyes. They cry diamonds and emeralds and amethyst and topaz. Capturing one is similar to embracing the rays of the sun. It is nearly impossible to decipher their inner monologue as if they're reading an ancient Egyptian dialogue. This elusive creature takes pleasure in watching the wonder behind your eyes. Listening to them speak is like floating on a cloud, hearing the sound of their heart beating is like sliding down a rainbow and touching their skin is like travelling through time into an alternate dimension. Envision your greatest pleasure, now close your eyes, take a deep breath and exhale. Whatever images invaded your mind could never compare to the serenity you find having a unicorn nearby. Perhaps this is why they don't exist because their love is radioactive. He is a unicorn. He left a scar upon my heart. His face haunts me in the depths of the dark. His touch lingers on my skin like the searing pain from a hot iron. His kiss is imprinted on my lips. I am unable to explain the feeling he gave me because he was a unicorn and unicorns simply do not exist.

What have you done?

I've given you enough of me. Don't you think?
You abducted my time. You're alien to me.
You snatched my attention. You're a thief.
You captivated my desire. You're a luminous fire.
You enraptured my body. You're King of the jungle.
You trapped my sanity. You're shock therapy.
You interrupted my focus. You're an atomic bomb explosion.
You disrupted my life. You're a real natural disaster.
You broke my heart. You're a Kung Fu master .
If it never happened why do I feel these things? I don't understand.
You allowed me to get too close. I suffered 3rd degree burns.
You looked at me like no one else. I was your puppet on a shelf.
You convinced me I was special. I believed in magic.
You shattered my hope. I was the victim of a tragic accident.
You played me for a fool. I struck out on every pitch.
You threw me for a loop. I was an acrobatic.
You knocked me off balance. I was a tight rope walker.
You expected me not to feel. I turned into an alcoholic.
Why is this so hard? I don't understand.
I am stuck in the mud. You're a soaring eagle.
I am struck and spilling blood. You're running marathons.
I am starving. You're finishing dessert.
I am numb. You're playing in the sun.
I am overcome. You're underwhelmed.
I am sick. You're in perfect health.
I am lost. You're running free.
I am everything you're not. You're everything I want to be.
You've done enough; nothing.

Beloved Heartbreak

I'm so mad right now I just have to get it all out. I would say once and for all but I feel like this more often than not. Why can I not just have what I f****** want? I am sick to death of feeling this pressure around my heart. It never lets up and the f****** music doesn't help. I can't stand torturing myself. I want you so bad. Something I'll never have yet I just can't give up. I hate living life with this constant pain. You won't leave my mind. F*** time healing wounds, it's a lie. I don't know what's worse, not having you or not knowing the truth. I want so badly to be done with it all. I wish I could just forget about everything we shared. I don't want to care. I hate you for leaving me so sick. How can you live like nothing happened? I want to be like you but I am nothing like you. This hurts. I have filled my life with so many things that I'm drowning in my own distractions but no matter what I attempt to do to erase you, you're still there. Get the F*** out of my head. Evacuate the warm shelter of my heart, you don't live there and you never did because it's not what you ever wanted. Life is so dull. You're robbing me of my light and I don't know how. I can't stop thoughts of you invading my mind. I can't combat the way I feel for you all the time. I can't be as strong as you. Of all of the things I've been able to overcome in my lifetime why can't I just climb over you and descend peacefully back into my own reality. My life without you in it. I don't know how much longer I can walk around living like everything is ok when my entire existence is pain. I'm so mad right now I just had to get it all out except I know even though the sadness has subsided for now it won't ever completely go away. You are my favorite mistake. Beloved Heartbreak.

One Last Time Before I Go

You walked in slow and set the tone. I've never wanted anything more. We've got our eyes locked on one another like heat seeking missiles. There is no one else on planet Earth except for you and I in this moment. I want you and you want me. Steam emanates from both of our cores. The energy is radiating in the room and our body heat begins to bloom. We are two magnets pulling one another closer and closer until we are face to face. I feel your breath on my neck as you lean in for a peck and I take in your intoxicating scent. Soap and cologne invade my senses and I'm flung into my sensual mood. Bliss becomes us as we begin to slowly embrace lips. The time slips through the cracks in the shades and we let our hands do the talking instead. We are like two mapless explorers, traversing one another like an uncharted new world. I want everything you have to give and you're so generous. I'm singing along to the melody of your song while your rhythm plays glorious beats beneath my fingertips. You devour my lips like the main course of a five star dish. Soft. Succulent. Sensational is how I would describe your body on mine. You let your light shine all over mine and we create blinding rays. I could ravage you for days and let you raid all of my reserves. A lover of the highest caliber, you deserve all of the best parts of me. Watching you walk out of the room sends a painful sting through me because I know I will never be able to enjoy you again. I just had to have you one last time before I go.