Last word

I've always said I do it because I can. I'll never try to understand any other motive to stop besides I can't. Words never uttered unless you're a quitter. Fight or flight and you're the picker. So you thought I ran out of things to say? Well guess again.Wrong my friend. I just took a break from the nonchalant way you hide from the truth. It still disgusts me the disguise you assume. I'll stop prying for the truth because it is now buried six feet deep along with the real you. You spoke so valiantly before and now all I know is you went ghost because your fate fell reality into my words. I told you so but you didn't care to listen to an expert on the situation. Now you're alone. You look stupid and probably feel even worse but I nor he or the World will ever know. You hide it away and keep it to yourself. Sit alone and think and shrug off all of those pitiful things you wish now you could change. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for you, You cant change shit and things will remain one way, the same. He was never yours to claim and now you are proud hiding out in your shame because the very same things I said are the exact same things he did. Go re-read it. You pretend like it doesn't bug you that I was right all along and now you're alone or with someone else already when we all know whose flag is flying South of that city. Aesthetics are a bitch if you don't plan ahead because seasons change and now you need to change the color of your drapes or hire someone to landscape. If you would have just paid attention to the latter and took the advice that was splattered all over the walls for you by a pro, we wouldn't be revisiting this matter but you successfully turned one disaster into an even bigger demolition. You should have heeded the warning signs that were flashing red like the color of that little dot on your forehead. BANG Bitch!!! Now you're dead and didn't even see it coming from directly in your line of sight. You were so blinded by his light that you completely let your measly guard down. RIP to those thoughts you thought about how ONLY you thought this shit would turn out. Because now that you're deceased from life you'll have plenty of time to rethink what you did wrong. You were given your proper burial and have currently been replaced. Don't lay your head in disgrace because it was inevitable for you to find your final resting place away from the living. Now maybe in the after life you'll give up that life and stop sinning. Try starting a new beginning. Just think of the possibilities of a brand new cover up for all your past life's fuck ups. Welcome to the game your quality control inspection was rejected! Ehhhh!!! Try again some other day when you start living and stop living dead. It'll be right here for you in case you need to read it again. I will always win. I get my last word in. The end!

Maps Inside my Mind

This distance got me wishing things could have been different. I wish time travel existed so I could go back in time to right a few wrongs of mine. I haven't been feeling like myself lately, so who does that make me? If finding yourself is life's quest I'll be searching for the rest of mine. If finding love is life's big test then I suppose studying is what I should do next. If finding happiness is life's biggest gift I guess I'll spend the rest of forever waiting for it. I gave away many pieces of me along this road I've been traveling on. Now they are just old land marks of where I've been. Sometimes I wonder if any of them ever miss me. I hope they know I miss them, the way we used to be. Now I'm on this road alone and have come to far to back track.The maps inside my mind only lead me forward and don't allow me to look back. I'm steady trekking down this path remembering to look both ways before I cross the tracks. As I grasp my back pack straps, shrug and tug because they sit heavy on my shoulders. I look past the sunset and wipe away the sweat from my brow, looking down towards the ground and I wonder how much longer I have to go? How will I know when I reach my destination? I lost the maps I once held as inspiration inside my hands and gave my only compass to a less fortunate man. So now as I continue this journey alone I am relying on the maps inside my mind to guide me safely home.

When I'm finally gone

Making history will be a myth for me because once all is said and done I will be long gone. Someday someone will take my words and turn them into songs. Then the whole world will sing along to the same tune. It's ok to not like the things I say because my words will forever be written on this page. I am ok with expressing my emotions and releasing them through my words into this world. I'm not looking for fame and Ive already been blessed with great fortune but knowing the world will see this someday makes me feel famous. I am not special and my words are not sacred but I write it all down in hopes that one day I'll make it. Maybe I'll be on the front page of the news, become an internet sensation or be asked to do T.V. interviews. Either way these words are my own and when I'm dead and gone they'll all belong to the world.

Change Your Mind

It's nerve wrecking when even the silence is distracting. Those I choose to ignore are now a bore and the things I thought I liked are now the things that I abhor. I don't want to drink or smoke no more and even the music I like is sounding dull. I've tried on angry before but it's time for a new scenery. I'm sick and tired of being alone but it's me who is keeping everyone away from me. I really am tired of being angry and always complaining, never entertaining the thought of true happiness found. I want to smile now and be happy for real. I want my kids to trust and love me and want to be around me all the time. I want them to grow up surrounded with positivity and bright hopes for their futures. I hope they look back and thank me someday for being a wonderful teacher. So I'm putting down these vices and picking up this pen. Next time you see me, I'll be an author again. The end. :)